First we turn to the water where an expected eight ferry terminals are to be built in the coming years to service all of those commuters who've moved far, far away from San Francisco. Four are planned to be built in the East Bay (Antioch/Martinez, Hercules, Richmond and Berkeley/Albany) and will head here. Another four will be built to connect places in the Peninsula to SF and the East Bay. The crazy thing? The idea behind all of this is because they think by making public transportation more available, more people will use it. Shhh...don't tell anybody else that or they might be increasing public transportation everywhere too. Either way, the Examiner gives the plan the thumbs up.

Now onto cable cars where the MTA is looking around to figure out how to increase ridership in lieu of their recent upping the cable car fees. See, the problem is they increased fares on the cable cars to make up for MTA budget deficits and to the surprise of no one except the MTA, less people are riding them. So, ideas are being thrown around to help stop the bleeding. Ideas include giving discounts for kiddies but only on Sundays and Holidays. All the other days, f--- 'em. Another plan is to allow transfers, but only for those who previously rode a cable car. Since busses cost far less, using the transfer to hop on a cable car wouldn't make sense so f--- those people too. There's also a plan to maybe decreasing the cost of those one-day commuter passports.

And finally, Caltrans is running a contest for teenagers to come up with a poem to help people understand that those orange warning cones means slow down because there's some construction being done. You know, like "Ode to an Orange Cone." Or "there once was a cone from Nantucket." Or even, "Orange cone in sight/cutting threw my caffeine haze/tells me to slow down."

You try.