The week between Xmas and New Year's always makes us into shut-ins. Plus, it's raining, like, all the time. We're broke. We're pervs. And there's nothing on TV.
But wait: there is. Something very... weird. Yeah, Comcast has made us all its bitch, but now it looks like there might be something worth taking the cable conglomorate's pain for the past year. Starting in October, Seattle's bizarro obsessive film collection company Something Weird Video struck a deal with Comcast to offer a new lineup of Something Weird selections free for the On Demand sections of their exceedingly ugly and sluggish, watch-anytime movie service for digital cable subscribers. Go figure -- revenge of the retro erotica and schlock indies on Comcast (search: weird). So now for free we can laze around watching Bettie Page prance and peel it off in Teasearama, scare ourselves into reefer madness with their hilarious cautionary drug and VD shorts, or watch any number of truly freaky (and utterly laugh out loud bad) films from Something Weird. That also translates into free vintage boobies, on occasion.
Sure, we could watch their paltry selection of "Adult" content, ranging from Jerry Springer to... Jerry Springer. But no one should ever pay-per-view "Top Ten: Big Boobs" or "Hole Inspectors" (though "Shane's Pornological" is recommended). Though we'll admit that Jerry's always, like, totally fun when we're boozing it up with the few friends we have left in town this week -- those not off visiting their relatives in the locales they actually hail from. But even Springer gets tired, and when that happens, no amount of crack helps -- which is why we then must explore the hundreds of songs (!) in the On Demand Karaoke database (search: karaoke).
Or better yet, there's Dating On Demand (in "Life & Home"). That's right, it gets even stranger than fiction, Like Mad TV's Lowered Expectations but for real, there are oodles of singles who have extremely uncomfortable moments on film seeking love in all the wrong places, categorized by age and gender -- the only thing missing is a totally gacked out Rick James impersonator. Sounds like a fun holiday project... we're so all over it.
SFist Violet, contributing.