SFist has lived in San Francisco for a long time and has been to our fair share of parties. We've been to hoity toity parties, arty parties, everyone tripping their balls off parties, and your plain-old beer bong parties. Yet in all of our partying, all of our barhopping, all of our being out and about, we have yet to have our photo taken in some paper's society section. Hell, we've never even been to a party that was featured in some paper's society section. What's wrong with us?

You know what section we're talking about. In the Chronicle, it's Catherine Bigelow's "Swells" column featuring the crème de la crème of city society. In the Examiner, it's the "Life & Style" section by Pamela Fishman Cianci, which usually covers a younger, hipper, yet still just as rich and fabulous crowd. We've even glanced through 7x7 Magazine to look enviously at the several pages of pictures of parties to which we were totally not invited but which feature a lot of famous for San Francisco types (boy, that Stephen Jenkins sure does get around).

Okay, granted, we don't know the Tompkins-Bells, any of the Gettys, or Charlotte Swig. And frankly, the parties shown in all of the Catherine Bigelow columns look about as exciting as a party could be without ever actually coming close to being exciting. And granted, all the young and beautiful people shown in the Life & Style section usually look like they're auditioning to someday appear in the Catherine Bigelow column. And granted, most of the parties we usually go to involve six packs of Red Hook in the fridge and the umpteenth playing of "Back in Black" but still. Aren't we cool enough? Aren't we beautiful enough? Doesn't anybody care what we're wearing (which, in case you were wondering, is jeans, a t-shirt, and some shirt we got at a thrift store a few years ago)? Damnit, aren't we fabulous? Why won't somebody put us in their society pages?

Photo of Cal Shakes Carnivale Gala in Oakland's historic Rotunda Building, a party to which we were definitely not invited, courtesy of SFGate.