Television has become as a much of a Thanksgiving staple as turkey, cranberries, and drunken uncles. Let's face it: when you've just eaten a week's worth of calories, and you've got a house full of relatives surrounding you, you'll probably welcome the chance to just stare at the soft glow of the TV screen.

"What's this thanksgiving thing you speak of?" you ask. Well tune in to the History Channel's The History of Thanksgiving on Wednesday at 1:00pm and learn all about it. We think it involves people in funny hats and buckled shoes dining with people wearing funny head-dresses and no shoes, but we're a little foggy on the whole thing. And while that first meal between those wacky pilgrims and the Native Americans will no doubt be covered, we can not promise they'll offer details about the eventual slaughter of those Natives. But pumpkin pie sure is delicious, isn't it?

Sometimes nothing quells the terror of impending quality family-time than witnessing the fictional representation of a family even more screwed-up than yours. Home for the Holidays, directed by Jodie Foster, is the best Thanksgiving movie we've ever seen...Fine. We admit it. It's the only Thanksgiving movie we've ever seen. Many holiday movies feature mention of Turkey Day, but this comedy covers the entire mad, two-day affair. Holly Hunter is the daughter returning home to dine with her uptight sister, chain-smoking mother, manic, gay brother, insane aunt, and pie-obsessed father. We challenge you to watch this movie and then find another that features more realistic-sounding dialogue. We haven't. Catch it on Lifetime Wednesday at 5:00pm.