You've got three options: the 5, the 101, and the 1. For this article, we drove down on the 5 and then hurried back up on the 101. We skipped the 1, even though it's gorgeous, because it takes about a full day to drive, and who, with our hasty modern lives, has that sort of time? Check Hotwired.com for cheap car rentals if you don't want to stick 600 miles on your adorable VW bug's odometer. We secured a compact car with Hertz for about $18 a day; picking up the car at SFO, rather than a city location, can sometimes mean a discount. Thanks to tandem flirting with the flustered Hertz rep, we were upgraded at no cost to an Aztec - basically an SUV with a huge ass - and we were off!

Here's the thing you've got to remember about the 5: it's preparing you for the cultural desolation of Los Angeles by subjecting you to desolation of a geographic nature. Flat, dusty, smoggy, empty, brown - don't expect many scenic pullovers. But if almonds and apricots are your thing, there are about a dozen nifty little farmstands along the 5 to keep your spirits aloft. One of the better stops is off of the Panoche Road exit - it looks like there's nothing there, but keep your eyes out for signs directing you to The Apricot Tree Restaurant. They serve American cuisine (our favorite kind!), and it's the kind of place you expect to be served by a sassy lady in a beehive hairdo named Ethyl. Er, the woman is named Ethyl, not the hairdo. The pie at the Apricot Tree is fantastic, as attested to by experts (pie experts). While you're there, don't miss the poignant sculpture of a dinosaur made of tractor parts. Fill up on gas, too, because your next chance won't come for another 35 miles.