An outdoor enthusiast from Colorado recently reached the top of Yosemite’s El Capitan with his eight-year-old son, and he did the same with his oldest son two years earlier. This time, he brought a documentary film crew, and some worry he’s endangering his kids’ lives for recognition.

As the Chronicle reports, eight-year-old Sylvan Lightyear Evermore made it to the top of El Capitan at Yosemite National Park with his father Joe Evermore late Friday night. The ascent took place over a weeklong trip — via rope ascent using special hand clamps as opposed to traditional rock climbing. This likely makes Sylvan one of only a handful of kids under the age of 12 to accomplish such a feat, along with his older brother Sam two years prior.

In 2023, Sam also successfully finished the same ascent, with Evermore (who changed his name from Baker, and clearly likes colorful names) touting him as a “world-class climber” in interviews with news outlets such as CNN, ABC, and NBC, per the Chronicle. This led CNN to title its article, “8-year-old boy becomes youngest person to climb California’s El Capitan,” but as the Chronicle notes, there is no official record-keeping of this sort.

Critics said this claim was misleading because no real climbing takes place with a rope ascent, which entails fixed ropes and ascender clamps, or “jugs,” which are laid out by actual climbers and anchored in place beforehand in order to safely guide the person along and keep them secure, per the Chronicle.

Regardless of the nomenclature, many in the community also worry about the wellbeing of Evermore’s children, as he also has two younger sons. Tom Evans, who documents climbers’ progress on the mountain three months out of the year, called the 2023 ascent “a publicity hoax” and even confronted Evermore prior to the trip.

“He said, ‘What’s the problem?’ And I said, ‘The whole media presentation needs to stop. I know there’s no way your son suggested getting this record. This is about you,’” Evans told the Chronicle at the time. “He said, ‘It’s not about the record, it’s about spending time with my son.’ I said, ‘Why all the publicity then?’”

Regarding Evermore’s recent trip with Sylvan, Evans reportedly said on Facebook, “This scam is just for publicity and making $$$ for the family.”

Ken Yager, founder and president of the nonprofit Yosemite Climbing Association, found the scenario potentially dangerous. “I can say personally that this obsession with records is kind of dangerous. That’s the wrong reason to climb,” he told the Chronicle. “Also, it takes away from the integrity of the sport, in a way. When it becomes a big media thing, I’m not a fan of it.”

Tommy Caldwell, a free climber, told the paper he found it “cringeworthy.” “Theoretically I could have put (my son) in a haul bag when he was 1 year old and gotten him up there.”

The second time around, per the Chronicle, Evermore strictly referred to the expedition as a rope ascent rather than a “climb.” He also brought along a documentary film crew with the aim of promoting his parenting philosophy, which focuses on how to help boys “develop into men through hardship and affliction.” Per the Chronicle, Evermore has raised over $450,000 online to finance the feature-length documentary film.

“In our culture, our system, we have dads who sit back on the couch and watch football and aren’t really engaged,” Evermore told the Chronicle. “I want to wake those guys up and get them doing something rad with their kids.””

Contrary to what the rest of the climbing community thinks of Evermore, Hans Florine, who tracks speed-climbing records on El Capitan, thinks Evermore’s stunts are harmless. “It’s a natural progression for our sport. You can’t get upset about this stuff,” he told the Chronicle.

“I’ve jugged the whole thing many times — it’s crazy-hard for an adult,” he continued. “If they are being honest about what they’re doing, I think it’s great.”

Nevertheless, the senior Evermore's steadfast pursuit of recognition brings to mind the tragic story of Jessica Dubroff, the 7-year-old child pilot from Pescadero who died in a 1996 plane crash, along with her father and flight instructor. Dubroff was attempting to become the youngest person to fly across the United States — a journey heavily promoted by her parents and the media, as reported by SFGate.

Image: Little Mountain 5/Wikimedia

A prom inside San Quentin, vintage treasure maps, librarians turned rock stars, trans quilts and immersive theater, pupusas in the Tenderloin, and a family recipe cook-off — this week’s Field Notes rounds up joy, art, and memory from San Francisco and beyond.

Pupusas, family roots, and Salvadoran art in the Tenderloin

What began as a Mission street cart is now Estrellita’s Snacks — a brick-and-mortar tribute to one family’s journey. Founded by Estrella Gonzalez and her son Angel, the Tenderloin shop honors Gonzalez’s mother, who once sold yucca chips outside local bars and restaurants.

Their pupusas, plantains, and pan con pollo fill a gap in the neighborhood’s food scene, while Salvadoran folk art and family photos fill the walls. — Mission Local

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Just beans, and other winners

Food critic MacKenzie Chung Fegan eats at top restaurants — but the Tenderloin Family Housing Cooking Competition is her favorite meal of the year. Families at 201 Turk dish out glutinous rice cakes, chicken masala sliders, and a Yemeni bean dish that claimed first prize. “It’s just beans,” the cook insisted. Not to the judges. — Chronicle

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Librarians by day, kids’ music icons by morning

Berkeley’s Story Time Band is turning toddler storytime into a full-fledged musical movement. Led by children’s librarian Michael Kwende (aka “Mr. Michael”), the all-librarian band fuses read-alouds with reggae, hip-hop, and global folk traditions — complete with plush animals, puppets, and dancing flamingos. — Berkeleyside

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Trans stories sewn into every stitch

Quilts, audio, and trans care come together in “Transmissions Quilts,” a multimedia exhibit at Berkeley’s Central Library, which runs through June. Curated by Cordy Joan and spanning three floors, the show honors trans lives through hand-crafted quilts, recorded stories, and collaborative art—each piece a testament to affirmation, resilience, and community. — Berkeley Public Library

Compton’s Cafeteria Riot play extends run

The Tenderloin Museum’s sold-out immersive play, Compton’s Cafeteria Riot, has extended its run through October. Set inside a recreated late-night diner, the show tells the story of the 1966 Compton’s Cafeteria Riot — a landmark moment of trans resistance. A 12-person cast brings the uprising to life with “breakfast for dinner” and a front-row seat to history. — Tenderloin Museum

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Inside Ruth Asawa’s home studio, a legacy of art and family lives on

Ruth Asawa raised six kids in a Noe Valley home where art, parenting, and community blurred together. Her grandson Henry Weverka walked DrawTogether’s Wendy MacNaughton through the SFMOMA retrospective, where a recreated living room shows how family dinners and wire sculptures shared the same table. — DrawTogether

Treasure hunting gets a digital upgrade

Krystyl Baldwin, a former tech worker turned vintage guru, has mapped out San Francisco’s under-the-radar retro scene with SF Vintage Maps—an interactive guide to 90 vintage shops across the city. From etched shower doors to rare Art Deco furniture, Baldwin’s passion for history and design is tangible in both her own North Beach showroom and this growing online resource.

Whether you’re seeking Gaultier gowns, mid-century cookware, or museum-worthy posters, the map connects vintage lovers to SF’s scattered gems — one QR code at a time. — 7x7

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San Quentin fathers reunite with daughters at first parenting prom

Back in April, a group of incarcerated men organized a powerful event at San Quentin: a prom where 17 fathers danced with their daughters — some reuniting for the first time in over a decade. With corsages, cake, and slow dances to Luther Vandross, it was a night of joy, healing, and new beginnings. — Local News Matters

Saving nature’s soundtrack, one hike at a time

Soundscape engineer Martin Sanchez treks into the Bay Area wilderness to record moments of pure quiet—birdsong, breezes, frogs—before they disappear. With mics hidden in forest crevices, he captures audio that's later used in meditation apps and films, building a library of the sounds that keep us grounded. — Bay Nature

Top image: 'Bodies of Water' by Lunilah Project

Previously: Field Notes: Bold Films, Pride Hikes, Show-Tune Karaoke, and Skateboarding Legends

It's not often that one hears about an exorcism going wrong. But that was the case when a Centerville, CA mom hit, bit, and choked her 11-year-old daughter during the extreme and archaic religious practice of exorcising demons from the body of the possessed. Or at least that's what the mom claimed she was up to.

The Sacramento Bee has the most detailed report we could find of this weird and tragic incident that took place on a secluded beach near Ferndale, in Humboldt County. Apparently 10 to 12 people watched as 45-year-old Kimberly Felder stripped her child naked, shoved sand in the kid's eyes and mouth, and hit the child with a piece of driftwood — all in the process of what Felder insisted was an exorcism and not just an excuse to beat a minor.

A local resident named John Marciel tried to stop Felder and someone eventually called 9-1-1 at approximately 9 a.m. on Friday. Needless to say, as soon as we obtain audio of that 9-1-1 call, we will post it because can you imagine?

Marciel told the Associated Press that Felder continued to hit her child with the stick even as he restrained her. "She questioned me about my faith," Marciel said.

When a sheriff's deputy arrived, Felder was taken to jail and charged with suspicion of attempted homicide, assault with a deadly weapon, felony child abuse and aggravated mayhem. The child was taken to a hospital and treated for her injuries, which included severe damage to one ear. She'll remain in child protective custody.

CBS 5 adds that Felder was given a toxicology test to determine if she was under the influence of any substances.

The Humboldt County Sheriff's Office believes that Marciel saved the child's life and plans to give him the Red Cross Life Saving Award. Meanwhile, investigators have yet to release Felder's toxicology report which just might reveal exactly who had the possession issue in this particular situation.

Related: Woman Arrested For Child Abuse Following Bay Bridge Toll Plaza Scene

Jeanne Manford, who in 1973 decided to march beside her gay son in the Christopher Street Liberation Day March (later known as the New York Gay Pride parade) and went on to found PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), died this week at her Daly City home. She was 92. Manford, who was a New York City schoolteacher back in the 70s, carried a sign in that early Pride parade that said "Parents of Gays: Unite in Support for Our Children."

Manford became an activist by accident after her gay son Morty was beaten up in April 1972 and New York police failed to respond to the incident. She wrote a letter that was published in the New York Post (it used to be a liberal paper, not a conservative tabloid) in which she declared, "I have a homosexual son, and I love him." The letter caused a stir, and in the oral history "Making Gay History" (2002) Manford said, "I didn’t think anything of it, but I guess it was the first time a mother ever sat down and very publicly said, ‘Yes, I have a homosexual son.’ "

She was equally surprised at the response she got for marching in that parade beside Morty. As State Senator Mark Leno tells the Chron, you need to think about this in the perspective of the time, while homosexuality was still listed as a mental illness. "For her to step into the street to declare support for her mentally ill, outlaw son — that was no small act," he said. "But it was what a mother's love does."

Other marchers in the parade embraced her and started asking her if she could please talk to their parents, and that was how PFLAG was born. The first meeting took place in 1973, at the Metropolitan Community Church in Manhattan, and today PFLAG has more than 350 chapters and 200,000 supporters nationwide.

A private burial is being arranged, and PFLAG's National organization is organizing a public memorial in Manford's honor, the details about which will be announced later. Donations in Manford's name can be made to the Manford Legacy Fund.

[NYT]
[Queerty]
[Chron]
[BCN/Appeal]

We've been remiss in not checking the mommy blogs, but just over the weekend there was an Op-Ed in the NYT that's causing a stir from art dealer and San Francisco dad Mark Wolfe. In it he writes of becoming a medical marijuana patient around the time that his third and youngest daughter was born, and he insists, "I swear I am a more loving, attentive and patient father when I take my medication as prescribed."

Now, this is bound to incite some ire not only from conservatives but probably from a lot of parents who'd insist that sobriety is the only path to parental perfection. Of course, when one leads a stressful life and one is not a devout yogi and disciplined Buddhist, it can be hard to unwind at the end of a long day and still have room for entertaining and coddling three children. Wolfe describes how he's evolved as a dad, via the THC:

Here is what a typical weekday evening exchange between me and my oldest daughter once looked like:

Child: Daddy, can you show me how to make a Q?

Father: (sipping bourbon and soda, not looking up from iPad) Just make a circle and put a little squiggle at the bottom.

Child: No, show me!

Father: Sweetie, not now, O.K.? Daddy’s tired.

It’s different now:

Child: Daddy, can you show me how to make a Q?

Father: (getting down on the floor) Here, I’ll hold your hand while you hold the pen and we’ll make one together. There! We made a Q! Isn’t it fantastic?

Child: Thanks, Daddy!

Father: Don’t you just love the shape of this pen?

And scene.

We do believe he's on to something... And pot probably is preferable to booze in dealing with small children especially. But do the kids know how high he is every night?

And while we'd expect SFGate's Mommy Files blog to be more up in arms, they simply quote a bunch of righteous commenters from the internet who are up in arms, and they conclude, "Once you’re running on the hamster wheel, it’s hard to stop—but maybe our society as a whole needs to figure out a way to slow down that wheel. Wolfe’s New York Times story just might be a wake-up call."

[NYT]
[MommyFiles/SFGate]

A new focus group study on the usage habits of Netflix subscribers has found that some local moms are using the movie and TV streaming service as "an $8-a-month babysitting service." According to Bernstein Research, who sat down a bunch of San Francisco moms in a room to pick their brains last month, the study found that most moms signed up for Netflix with the intention of binging on movies and TV themselves, but now find use the service to keep their lovable little blessings entertained with commercial-free reruns.

The responses from Bernstein's mommy panel probably sound familiar to anyone who has sat their kid in front of an whole season of Spongebob Squarepants, but still has a hard time finding someone for the grownups to watch on a Friday night. From AllThingsD:

• Some mothers like that Netflix streaming allows them to watch older content, but many consider Netflix as a service better suited for children because of lack of interesting content for adults.


• Mothers like that Netflix does not have commercials and contains programming their kids enjoy (citing Dora, SpongeBob, etc.).


• Many mothers cited instances in which their children watched the entire episode library of a given show (e.g., SpongeBob) on Netflix.


• Almost universally, the mothers found that kids do not tire of watching the same programs over and over again. …


• Regarding the types of shows one child watched on Netflix, one mother stated, “Mostly she watches the shows she’s seen a million times [already] on Netflix.”


• “I think I use it more for the kids than I do for myself.”

Interestingly, most of the San Francisco moms don't think Netflix is a good enough service to replace their DVRs and cable TV subscriptions, probably because it takes like years

[AllThingsD]

Gay dads. They're the worst. First, they rub in our face that they're got their collective shit together via strolling freshly born wee ones around the Castro, giving gay brethern the stink-eye all because they no longer have pupils the size of dinner plates come Saturday morning. And now, according to a recent San Francisco State University study, said dads have more or less taken themselves off the sexual-intercourse market because they've got to go home and burp little Sapphire. The SFSU study, published recently by the Journal of Couple and Family Psychology, documented the effects of entering into the woes of parenthood for 48 gay male couples in the Bay Area, "detailing the relationship issues that arose as a result of becoming parents." The results might shock you.

"A lot of them reported that with children at home they're exhausted so the frequency of sex decreases, which could mean less risk for HIV," SFSU sexuality studies professor Colleen Hoff explained to the BAR. "Roughly half the couples were in open relationships and reported there's less time and desire to act on that. All together, one might think that having children moves people toward a less risky lifestyle."

It gets worse. The BAR goes on to chillingly point out: "The reported decrease in sexual frequency was generally accepted by the couples as a direct result of prioritizing their children over themselves as they transitioned into a more mature stage of life." (Whatever happened to the boomer parents of yore who used to prioritize themselves over their children? Crazy world we live in today.) Further, couples also seemed to spend "less time with gay friends and more time with heterosexual parents, even moving to more suburban areas."

On the plus side, gay dads tend to look really hot. So very responsible, so very good-credit-score. So, you know, they've got that going for them too.

Previously: New Study Blames Spread of HIV/AIDS On Women, Sort Of

By D. Hanousek

For a long time, I was one of those parents who posted adorable pictures and videos of my precious offspring on Facebook. On almost a daily basis, in fact. Since my entire extended family lives out of state and out of the country, it was an easy way to keep everyone in the loop. These postings were always a hit, of course. Relatives and people outside my family were liking and commenting on a regular basis. (I'm not friends with many proud kid-haters.) But then, when I realized I was becoming obsessed with the validation and, at the same time, exposing my children to people who do not deserve to have access to them, I developed a serious case of Facebook Fatigue, and immediately deactivated my account. After 24 hours of withdrawal and worry that I could miss seeing the first baby pictures from girlfriends who were about to pop, I logged back in and changed all of the security settings on my pictures (not an easy feat, mind you). And now, I no longer post pictures of my kids on Facebook.

And I feel better. Healthier even. I’ve even stopped with the status updates. Every once and a while I do post the passage-aggressive link to an article I wish some people would read. Other than that, I’m pretty much just a “liker" these days.

Since a desire still exists for faraway family to view media of my children, I created a Tumblr blog for them. I chose a format that does not allow “liking” or commenting, and I love it. It also feels safer, at least to me.

When I told other parents about how I now use Facebook in a different way, many of them applauded me. Not because they were relieved to get my kids faces out of their news feeds, but because they too had had reservations about posting pictures of their kids on Facebook. They thought I made a good choice for my family. After all, we’ve all heard horror stories about stolen pictures used in horrendous ways without the parent’s knowledge. But, is this change in my Facebook behavior reflective of social media privacy paranoia? Who knows. In the meantime, I feel a bit crazy and, yes, overprotective when I ask friends to remove pictures of my kids or to block certain people from seeing them.

The thing is, how well do you really know your Facebook friends? I have 192 of them, (which pales in comparison to most of my friends), but how can I know 192 people well enough to trust that they won’t misuse images of the most important people in my life? (Some can't even trust the one they love!) Anyway. It’s something to think about before posting that umpteenth photo of your wee one.

Follow me on Twitter @DHanousek

By D. Hanousek

You may or may not have noticed that two weeks ago, I took the day off from writing . I wasn't going to talk about it because I'm inclined to keep most details about my personal life private. But this week's topic was inspired by a personal event: I took the day off from writing because my husband was in a very serious accident. During his recovery, I have become even more aware of how little credit dads receive, especially in San Francisco. (There's a reason why this column's title uses the word "Parent" and not "Mom.") Becoming more and more frustrated with gender parenting stereotypes, my confession is: I don't get why SF dads get the shaft.

I have always been well aware that my husband acted as the primary parent in my kids' lives, at least, in their early lives. After I did my job popping each one of them out, my husband took over, taking the night shift, letting me nap, changing most of the diapers, etc. This is just how the parenting roles happened in our family. Now that our children are getting older, I’m taking on more developmental responsibilities, especially with our son who will soon be four; however, since my husband's accident, I have been doing double duty. I always appreciated his hard work with the kids, but now I really appreciate his efforts.

And from what I've seen around San Francisco, this seems to be the norm. Those parents on the playground trying to strike up conversations with me? Mostly dads. The parents dropping off and picking up their kids from daycare and preschool? Mostly dads. The parents sitting in uncomfortable, awkward meetings with preschool teachers? Mostly dads. Riding on the wimpy, little steam train at the zoo? Mostly dads. (Friends offering to help you out when your husband is in the hospital? Mostly guys.) Now, I'm not saying that SF moms aren't active enough in their children's lives. I could list just as many things I see mostly moms doing; wiping drippy noses, taking kids to the library, etc. It's just that, from what I've gathered, I don't think people acknowledge dads as much as they do moms.

For example, why are play groups called "mommy groups?" And, "The Golden Gate Mother's Group?" Why are doctors always asking the mom for information about their child when the dad is sitting right next to her? Irritating.

The other day, while at the gym watching Smash, a Huggies ad came up on Hulu. The ad pissed me off so much that I almost fell off the treadmill. In it, Huggies diapers undergo the ULTIMATE CHALLENGE of babies being left alone with their fathers. What the fuck? And I'm not the only one who's pissed. Check out the commercial and some angry comments here. Huggies argues that the company celebrates dads in the commercial, but others think they're just pandering... not to mention ignoring gay fathers altogether.

Dads are awesome. The world is changing and parenting roles aren't immune. Time to get over mommy-centric thinking and celebrate all parents.

Follow me on Twitter @DHanousek

By D. Hanousek

Maybe it's the nonstop rain or the traffic on 101. Maybe it's the news that one of my SFUSD-champion parent friends is pulling her kids out of public school and putting them in private school. Maybe it's that my very pregnant best friend just announced that her family is moving from Sausalito to San Rafael, farther north. Something's getting me down and making me feel like raising my own kids in San Francisco makes me a crazy person. The truth is, it's getting lonely out here.

Just the other week, I read the most depressing article in the Chron (which was picked up by SFist), "Families' exodus leaves S.F. with lowest pct. of children in U.S."

Dear God, not again. The numbers quoted in the piece are so depressing: San Francisco has the lowest percentage of underage residents out of all the major cities in the countries. No wonder the hipsters hate us and scoff at our strollers. Maybe I be friendlier to other parents at the playground... even if they are hitting on me. The've probably already experienced the same sad epiphany I am now in the middle of—namely, everyone's leaving and my husband and I seem to be the only ones left. More or less.

According to Supervisor Mark Farrell, "Keeping families in San Francisco is important for a diverse city. Having children in our parks and our schools and strollers on our sidewalks is important to the vibrancy of our neighborhoods." Of course I agree with this, but if most people in San Francisco just want us to move to San Rafael with the rest of our friends, how can we survive? How can we make the majority of Baghdad by the Bay understand how important our presence is to the quality of their life here?

Before I got married, I never thought I would have children. Never. I too scoffed at people with strollers and gave dirty looks to those who brought their babies to bars. But now that so many of my friends are leaving town, I wish I could have told my past self that I was going to change my mind about having kids and to be kinder those who were already brave enough to have them in this city.

One of my very few parent friends in the city posted a link to this article the other day. Haters, please read it. And, if you do ever decide to have kids, I promise that I will talk to you at the playground. Just don't leave San Francisco.

Follow me on Twitter @DHanousek

(By D. Hanousek)

Yesterday, a close friend pregnant with her first child posted a link on Facebook to an article about a mother who was arrested for allowing her 10-year-old to get a tattoo honoring his late brother. Said friend posed the question, "Would you let your 10-year-old son get a tattoo, for any reason? What if the tattoo is to honor the passing of his brother; is that acceptable?" I immediately felt my emotions heighten as I wrote the comment, "Er, circumcision is legal. So is piercing your infant's ears. Don't get me started..." This led me, of course, to the confession that when it comes to hot-topic children's issues, to me, ignorance is bliss.

I am a troubled sleeper mainly because I overthink when my head hits the pillow and I close my eyes. I think about worst-case scenarios involving burglars, rapists, and natural disasters. But as of late, my insomnia has taken on a more realistic tone as the words of friends and family keep swirling in my head.

Recently, not one, but two women close to me confessed that their husbands had been physically abusive to them and their children. In both cases, when I sprang to action calling domestic violence hotlines and CPS, both women reneged on their allegations, told me I was overreacting, and in one case, shunned me from her life. At night, I am so sad, trying to figure out why these women told me in the first place if they were just going to deny it in the end and deem me to be "the bad friend."

How is this related to my friend’s Facebook post? As a parent, I am sensitive to every judgment, big or small pertaining to children. My son is uncircumcised. One of the fathers mentioned above called my three-year-old son an "anteater" every time he saw him. (Abuser or not, what an asshole.) But I always kept my opinions about him circumcising his sons to myself. It just seemed like the polite thing to do.

Another father (formerly) close to my family exploded on my husband about not respecting Jewish traditions, believing that my Christian background was brainwashing my husband and my children. This isn't the case. Even though I'm an agnostic who lacks the faith required to be technically labeled a Christian, this did not keep this father from sharing his judgment. And my husband, remaining calm and polite, refrained from lashing back with arguments supporting our family's beliefs about circumcision.

Why are these parents allowed to share their opinions and judgments about my family but I am supposed to stay silent when I am informed of abuse? Should that mom have been arrested for allowing her son to get a tattoo? I don't know. Is circumcision wrong? I'll tell you what I think if you ask me in person.

Is piercing an infant's ears a selfish act performed by parents? Maybe. Is violence in the home an abominable and unacceptable disgrace? YES. Yes, it is. And while I understand the importance of an open dialogue on all of these issues, at the end of the day I would just like to close my eyes and go to sleep, ignorant of it all. But I think that's an impossible dream of mine (and most parents) as an active social networking savvy mom, news-reading citizen, and a human being with a conscience.

Abuse, judgment, and ignorance is all around us. You know this. While it would be easier to just roll over and pretend it’s not there, I have learned that, in some cases, politeness is wrong and I have to speak. Where do you draw the line? I’m still trying to figure that out. Here’s hoping for a good night’s sleep sometime in the next decade or so.

(By D. Hanousek)

After changing park benches three times over the weekend, I realized that I have a confession to make. I don't want to be your friend. Sure, we both have kids and we both live in the city. And, whaddya know, our kids like to play in playgrounds too. But, check it out: any communication beyond a nod or a friendly smile "hello" is not necessary. In fact, if I may be candid, it's simply unwelcome.

I already have friends. I don't need anymore. I'm old and tired. With kids. The jig is up. You have to have friends if you have children in the city. Otherwise, you'll go completely insane, feeling isolated and alone. You'll start joining playgroups and excessively posting on neighborhood parents' Yahoo groups offering three free size-2 diapers or an open (but unused) bottle of Pedialyte. Or, worse yet, you'll find yourself soliciting strangers in playgrounds for coffee dates or lengthy chit chats about public vs. private schools. Oh. That's you. Sorry.

Look. I'm just here because I want my kids to burn off some energy and nap. It's the weekend and I'm this close to getting three stars on a particularly difficult level of Angry Birds. Can't you just let me be? And if you're going to interrupt my hogicide activity with a fascinating insight, please don't tell me how you just noticed the "No Adults Allowed Unless Accompanied by Children" signs. Those signs have been there forever and your kid is 3. This guy may have had an excuse, but you, sir, are either clueless or just making a feeble attempt to make a new friend. Sorry to tell you, it's not going to be me.

PREVIOUSLY: Confessions Of A San Francisco Parent: 'I Don't Care About Spreading Germs'

(By D. Hanousek)

"This germ is your germ. This germ is my germ."

As my three-year-old son lays passed out on the couch after throwing up three times this morning, I realize that I have a confession to make. I don't care if my kid gets your kid sick.

Sure, I kept my son home from preschool today—for him, not for you. Think about all those times your boss told you to go home from work wen you were sneezing, sporting red, goopy eyes, and coughing up a lung onto the conference table. You boss was right. But not because you should protect your colleagues from the plague you're spreading in the communal bathroom. You should go home when you're sick because you are sick and need to rest to get better. (Your colleagues are going to get sick anyway. And you look gross.)

Now, when it comes to kids in San Francisco, all you have to do is go to a playground where one kid has a runny nose to see how most parents react to kid germs. You may see other parents giving nasty looks to the parent of said snotty child, or coaxing their children to another part of the playground. The most awesome passive-aggressive SF parent breaks out the hand sanitizer and after slathering his or her child, offers the rest of the life-saving salve to the parent of the snotty child. They are, of course careful not to touch the parent in the transaction, saying, “No need to return it. It's yours.” Other parents simply state, “You know, your child has a runny nose,” as if you had no idea and also, did you know, DID YOU KNOW, you are responsible for spreading illness? (My guess that many of these parents are also anti-vaccine, but, don't even get me started on that.) You're in a public playground. There are germs on every square inch of that place! It's not one child's fault, so why point fingers?

This morning, after setting my son down on the couch in clean jammies, a sippy cup filled with watered-down juice, and Gnomeo and Juliet, I promptly posted on Facebook that I was home with my son who puked his brains out in the car a mere block from his preschool. The first comment was from a friend we had seen over the weekend. She felt horrible because she thought that her son had gotten my son sick. Now I felt bad. It wasn't her fault. It wasn't her son's fault. Maybe the germs did come from their house, but the fact is, kids get sick. And they're going to get sick either this week, next week, or the week after that. You can't avoid it. You just deal with it.

Germs are out there. Even in the most pristine homes, schools, and businesses. If you think that my kid got your kid sick because they played with the same Legos a few days ago, I don't care. You should focus your energy on helping your child to feel better, not griping about other peoples' parenting.

While we don't approve of using children as activists, we do enjoy seeing wee ones tell creeps to stop acting like stab-worthy racist, homophobic meanies to their parents. Take, for example, little Elijah who recently explained to disgraced GOP presidential candidate Michele Bachman that his queer mom, YouTube user armoriendi, doesn't need fixing. Glorious, right?

That said, the kid does seem coerced into it. Poor little fella. Elijah is uncomfortable. Guess it's nice to know, though, that far-right fist-shakers aren't the only ones who exploit kids to get their points across. But at least Elijah is correct here. So, you know, there's that. Civil rights notwithstanding, that wasn't cool, mom.

Bachman, noted for her anti-freedom of religion ways as much as she is for her chilling smile, has described homosexuality as "sexual dysfunction," "sexual identity disorders," and "personal enslavement" that leads to "sexual anarchy." Aided in part by her allegedly closeted husband, Marcus, Bachmann & Associates, a "Christian" counseling service located outside Minneapolis, provides bogus conversion therapy, "a controversial psychological treatment repudiated by the American Psychological Association, which attempts to transform homosexuals into heterosexuals."

[via DListed]