It hasn't been quite as sad this summer when it comes to apartment listings, even though average rental prices in San Francisco are still enough to make anyone cry who doesn't make north of $200,000. The holy grail remains being able to live by oneself without breaking the bank, and a newly listed studio in Lower Nob Hill will let you do just that, for the not-quite bargain price of $2295 per month.
The listing appeared on Zumper and was picked up by the national publication Business Insider, which always revels in schadenfreude posts about SF real estate. The listing actually shows pricing for studio and one-bedroom units at 698 Bush Street, otherwise known as The Kenilworth — at the corner of Powell Street.
The photo gallery shows photos of a stark white studio with a view that is clearly of a brick wall, a sliver of a closet, and a non-functional kitchenette which is essentially just a wetbar — a small sink and a mini-fridge.
This is the wider angle, including said window, and a little radiator.
Here's another angle, which shows as best it can with a wide angle this small, 161-square-foot room — which Business Insider thinks is the smallest apartment currently available in SF.
That little door next to the front door does not lead to a toilet — my suspicion is that this was an SRO with shared bathrooms, and some of the units still might share? Scroll down to see a slightly different unit with a creative toilet solution.
But first, check out this closet!
That looks to be about enough room for a pair of skis and a few shoes. Your essential clothing is probably best stored in a few under-bed bins, and the rest you can burn or stuff in a $20/month locker at the gym.
Now, moving on to the other photos in the gallery which show a different studio unit in the same building, this one furnished and with a weird toilet-shower box that's been installed next to the wet bar where no bathroom previously was.
Yes, you can poop and shower at the same time in this unit, though you can not heat up food with anything but a microwave, that kitchen sink is the size of a softball, and you'll note the toilet paper holder is outside the bathroom box because otherwise it would get wet.
Here's the bathroom sink inside that little shower:
Turning around to the other side of this furnished room, we have a Murphy bed and a window with an airshaft view.
Turning to the right, we have the TV, which is slightly awkward to watch from the bed, but them's the breaks.
There appears to be the tiniest of closets, again, next to the front door there, and this unit has a credenza beneath the TV for a limited amount of extra storage.
Otherwise, you're lookign at all your storage on about a half dozen IKEA shelves, which also has to hold most of your kitchen and dining stuff.
Here's the "bed up" mode, with a fold-down table and two chairs which, when not in use, are stored... where?
Anyway, at least this thing has a bathroom, which is more than appears to be true of the one above, and let's face it, the toilet certainly must cost extra.
That does it for today's edition of Apartment Sadness. As we move into the popular moving season of fall, perhaps there is more hilarious sadness awaiting us in the listings. Stay tuned.