We hate to give the Straight Priders a platform and publicity, but you simply must drop everything and watch this magnificent, chef-kiss self-own by the National Straight Pride Coalition co-founder.

There are precisely zero degrees of separation between the ascendant Straight Pride trolls and the white supremacy movement, as evidenced that Straight Pride was co-founded by Daly City native and avowed white nationalist Kyle “Stickman” Chapman. Chapman is away from the “organization” thanks to his extensive legal problems, so the leadership falls to San Leandro chiropractor and wingnut Don Grundmann. Grundmann is trying to organize a Straight Pride event in Modesto in late August, and to that end, came begging Modesto City Council for a permit Wednesday night. How effective was his rhetoric? Let’s have a look.

"We're a totally peaceful, racist group," Grundmann shouted, before realizing his error. But reader, it was too late. The audience was mocking him and roaring with high-decibel laughter worse than the time Spanky tried to perform Julius Caesar on Little Rascals. (But really, who among us has not accidentally described ourselves as racist, only to quickly backtrack and say ‘Wait, I didn’t mean to just call myself racist.’?)

SFist will also note that the above YouTube video page represents the first time we have ever seen a swarm of YouTube comments that were, by and large, quite witty and insightful. Seriously, read the comments! You’ll (mostly) not regret it!

All kidding and Our Gang comparisons aside, there are many heartbreaking and depressing aspects to this stupid saga. According to the Bay Area Reporter, security were using metal detectors over fears that gun violence could break out at the meeting. And on a human level, we can’t imagine anything more awkward than the position of openly gay pre-meeting vigil organizer Matthew Mason — whose adopted mother Mylinda Mason is a Straight Pride organizer per the Chronicle, but his biological mother Kristi Ah You sits on city council and was expected to vote on the permit.  

"I have personally heard [Mylinda Mason] use hateful, harmful rhetoric when describing the LGBTQ+ community and non-Christian religious communities," Matthew Mason said of his adoptive mother, who has since disowned him. "Don Grundmann is a radical right-wing fascist from the Bay Area who is attempting to use Modesto as a launching ground for his political and cultural campaign of hate."

The Bay Area Reporter reports that the council did not vote publicly Wednesday night, nor did they announce a decision. But for the time being, Straight Prider Don Grunmann might inadvertently replace Green Shirt Guy as the most viral amusing character on the internet.

Related: ‘When, Exactly, Did Pride Become A Party For Straight Teens? [SFist]

Screenshot: Modesto News via YouTube