Apparently unaware of the truism "the smeller's the feller," at least 50 San Franciscans contacted officials Wednesday morning complaining about a (new) stinky smell in our city.
According to Pacific Gas and Electric spokesperson J.D. Guidi, calls complaining about an odor akin to rotten eggs or sulfur started rolling in at around 2 a.m. from area residents who feared some sort of gas leak. San Francisco Fire Department spokesperson Jonathan Baxter says that they got calls reporting the strong scent too, from folks in neighborhoods as disparate as the Bayview, the Tenderloin, Nob Hill, the Marina, SoMa, the Mission, and the Outer Sunset and Richmond.
The smell drifted away by 7 a.m., leaving behind a mystery. Guidi says it wasn't his company, and that the stink wasn't "related to PG&E facilities." When asked if any PG&E facilities had beans last night, Guidi remained silent.
Baxter also says that SFFD investigators couldn't find an origin of the smell, but said that it doesn't appear to have caused any threat to public safety or health.
Currently the odor has dissipated with NO cause or origin Determined. No threat to Health or Safety. https://t.co/Q2NjmOQEvo— San Francisco Fire (@sffdpio) December 28, 2016
(Remember that line the next time someone overreacts when you have gas. "Lighten up, Francis, it's not like my flatulence is causing a threat to public safety or health.")
The Chron reports that the Coast Guard says that they don't believe there were any spills in the area that could have caused the stink, and the Bay Area Air Quality Management District says they're equally stumped.
So what was it? Are we smelling, as Fox News appears to believe, the sulfuric stench of hell opening beneath our heathen city? Or did San Francisco just let loose a collective fart, a final rectal gasp befitting this shitshow of a year? According to Guidi, PG&E will keep its eye (nose?) on the air, even as Baxter says the SFFD will keep on seeking the stink's source on the ground.
Related: Fox News Gloats That San Francisco Is Going Down The Toilet With Higher Crime, Etc.