Following reports that Soylent Food Bars, the latest product from techno-utopian meal-replacement company Soylent, were causing extreme vomiting and diarrhea in some customers, the company yesterday announced that it would stop selling the bars — effective immediately. What's more, in a blog post, the company urged consumers to toss whatever bars they've already bought.
"It has recently come to our attention that a small number of our customers have experienced gastrointestinal issues after consuming Soylent Bars," the company statement euphemistically reads. "As a precautionary measure, we are halting all Soylent Bar purchases and shipments and are advising our customers to discard any remaining bars in their possession."
This is just the latest setback for a company named after a fictitious food-product that partially consisted of people, and not even the first one involving, shall we say, digestion issues. In 2014 the company reformatted its flagship product to try and cut back on all the flatulence. What's more, last year Soylent was forced to delay shipments of its 2.0 drink (yes, that's what they called it) after mold was discovered in some bottles.
That the company has suspended shipments and is offering a full refund for products already purchased suggests that this problem may be larger than just a few farts, however. Indeed, descriptions of symptoms experienced by some after eating the bars are possibly enough to scare one off any iteration of the product for good. "I am literally sitting on the throne right now shitting my brains out for the fourth time in a month after eating 1 bar each day I got sick," one such customer explained on Reddit. Fool you once, shame on Soylent. Fool you four times, though?
Soylent devotees, for the time being, will just have to go back to drinking all of their meals. Chewing takes too long anyway.
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