Though he has no hope of winning California in November, Donald Trump is nonetheless visiting the Bay Area this week in search of campaign cash, and will be attending private events Monday in Napa Valley and on the Peninsula in undisclosed locations.

We heard about the Napa event last week, and reportedly attendees will be paying upwards of $5,000 apiece to shake the Donald's hand.

It's unclear if that is a lunch or a dinner, but the Chronicle has it that Trump will also be appearing somewhere south of San Francisco, at an undisclosed place in an undisclosed Peninsula city, sometime on Monday. That event is billed as "a $25,000-per-person joint fundraiser on the Peninsula for his campaign and the Republican National Committee."

Trump will also be heading to a $2,700-per-person lunch event in Tulare County on Tuesday.

Trump won't be making any public appearances on this trip, because as mentioned, there wouldn't be any point — and those haven't gone so well for him here. Anyway, here's hoping he takes a minute to discuss the horrors of body shaming at one of these events.

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