I don't have anything to say about the game. I don’t remember the final score, I haven’t reviewed the stats or the game log. I haven’t watched replays or seen any interviews or read any analysis — I never will. When the game ended, we turned the TV off. My sisters and parents and brothers-in-law and I just sat there in silence, as if we were at a wake. In a way, we were.

Why do we do this? Most of us are fairly functioning, mostly emotionally stable, usually rational people. Yes, we may hit the sauce a little too often, but, for the most part, we’re pretty well-adjusted, right? So why do we do this to ourselves? Because we got to the payoff last season? Was it worth it? At that time it was. But here we are now, one year later, learning that the lows are lower than the highs are high.

Remember 1993? When the Giants won 103 games, only to lose the last game of the season to the Dodgers, 12-1, falling one game short of the playoffs? Remember 2002? When the Giants had a 5-0 lead in Game 6 of the World Series, eight outs away from their first title in San Francisco, and somehow losing that game and ultimately the series? Remember 2013, when the 49ers were down 34-29 in the Super Bowl, but had 1st and goal on the 7-yard line and failed to find the end zone in four tries? Those games ripped my heart out. This one is worse.

I love the Warriors. They were always that team in the Bay that weren’t as good as the Niners or the Giants or the A’s or the Raiders, so you felt bad for them. Of the crew, the Warriors were Dukie from The Wire. We knew the other four could take care of themselves, but we were protective over the Dubs. We can talk shit about the Warriors, but a urine-filled balloon for you if you were a Laker fan doing the same. And so when the Warriors finally began to rise, you felt so…proud. And now that they’ve fallen, you feel so…ARGHHH.

In my next life, I’m not going to be a sports fan. I’ll watch sports and just enjoy them for what they are: incredible feats of athleticism; millionaires playing a game to make money for billionaires; silly entertainment. I’ll watch sports the way I watch movies. I’ll be amazed and moved and thrilled the way I am when watching a great film or a great actor, without giving a damn if they win this or that award. I’m not going to invest this much of emotional well-being into the corporate franchises that have secured the exclusive rights to conduct business in the region I happened to be born in. When I was 7 or 8, I did something that would haunt me into my adulthood: I became a fan. Mothers, tell your children not to do what I have done.

It took me about three months to recover from the Niners losing in the Super Bowl, so I guess I’ll come back out of my shell in September or October. Until then, I’ll be staying offline, getting my burritos with refried beans, and eating all the ice cream. All of it. Sigh…