San Francisco's crazy rental market got you down? Need a little lift? A little pep? Something light-heartened to raise your spirits? Well, you've come to the wrong place. With that being said, we here at SFist would like to take the opportunity to show you one of the most expensive San Francisco rentals — a 3-bedroom listed at $29,950 a month — for your hate-viewing pleasure.

The property is listed by Pacific Union, a real estate agency that unsurprisingly focuses on the upper end of the market. Located at 765 Market Street, above the Four Seasons Hotel, the spot includes a 24-hour concierge service and panoramic views of the Bay Bridge, Golden Gate Bridge, and Twin Peaks.

In addition to the sweet views, you'll find a bidet in one of the four bathrooms.

If the "custom carpeted bedrooms" aren't enough to sell you, take a look at this glamorous dinning room — complete with a bunch of framed mirrors that apparently exceed the acceptable weight load of the apartment wall.


The 3,509 square foot apartment comes complete with its own "breakfast room" (eating breakfast in the same room as your other meals is played out, or didn't you know?), and includes the small statue of a horse conveniently placed in front of a bathroom mirror so you can gaze on the equine backside as you soak in the hot tub.

Photo via Pacific Union.

This exciting rental is currently available.

Related: Stop Saying That SF's Median Rent Is $4225

Photo via Pacific Union.