Are you feeling sexy? How sexy? If you said "sexier than Boston, but less sexy than Miami" then you and Playboy magazine agree on at least one thing!

According to the hetro/"lesbian"-for-the-sake-of-the-male-gaze-focused publication, San Francisco is the fifth-most sexy city in the US, behind #1 New York, #2 LA, #3 Chicago, and #4 Miami.

The methodology for their "exclusive poll"? Please, allow a rabbit in a bow tie to explain:

We conducted two customized polls with ­SurveyMonkey: The first general-­population study ranked cities from one to 25; the second dug deeper into the attitudes and lifestyles of people living in the top five cities. Using data from the second survey and outside sources (see below), we uncovered key preferences and predilections in our five sexiest cities.

We partnered with NerdWallet, a San ­Francisco-based personal finance start-up, to crunch numbers on bars, restaurants and other entertainment outlets per 1,000 residents to come up with a nightlife factor, which we then combined with a walkability index to produce these overall after-sundown scores.

Weirdly, though, the data seems to focus on people who stick to sexual activities with those with whom they do not share a gender! For example, here's one of their insights on SF: "As for the dating market, good news, ladies: The city is home to 116 single men for every 100 single women."

Yeah, ladies, and if you really want to skew the odds in your favor, check out bars like Badlands or The Eagle! At places like that, the world is your oyster! (At least, I think that smell is oysters...)

Then again, maybe it's not so weird that Playboy might overlook the fact that a lot of those 116 dudes are not looking for lady love. After all, can an antique (albeit, a charming one!) like Playboy get down with Dore Alley? Probably not.

Moving past Playboy's apparent heteronormativity, we have one thing going for us: coming.

"Our survey shows San Francisco trailing Miami and New York in frequency of sex," Playboy observes, "but leading the top five in quality—that is, frequency of orgasms." Yay?!?

Trailing our orgasmatic city is Boston at #6, Seattle at a #7 so sad they don't even get a writeup, Vegas at #8, San Diego at #9, and Portland rounding out the top 10.

Take it away, folks...

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