As the long-awaited Apple Watch begins to ship to customers, one fan is "shipping" his super bootleg erotic technology fantasy, Invaded by the iWatch. Yes, he changed Apple Watch to “iWatch” because of copyright or whatever, and good luck to him with that.
Anyway, the e-book, #77,551 in the paid section of the Kindle Store as of publication time, is the third "Digital Desires" volume from author Leonard Delaney, whose previous titles include Conquered by Clippy and Taken by the Tetris Blocks. And it sounds like Fusion's resident tech erotica critic Kevin Roose got a review copy, which he found somewhat awkward. "It won’t make any Best Books of 2015 lists," he blithely predicts.
Yeah, he's probably right. If you thought Apple unboxing videos were unsexy, you were right, and just wait for the scene where the protagonist, a young ingenue tech reporter, cries out “Give me a Stevejob!”
Here's the Amazon description:
Christie Aackerlund loves technology, so she is happy to try out a smartwatch prototype that mysteriously arrives at her door. When she asks the watch how it can make her less lonely, she has no idea how many sensual features are packed into the tiny device.
Discover how a forbidden sexual romance between a woman and a watch is possible. Cry out in joy at guest appearances from your favourite technology personalities. Squirm at a twist ending to the Digital Desires trilogy that will leave you uncomfortably aroused.
This 4000 word short story contains sexual encounters with technology, blow-jobs, and group sex. It’s only for super mature people who can handle it.
And, about the author, whom I suspect to be a massive troll (he has expressly stated that his goal is to sell the shit out of this thing).
Leonard Delaney writes from the heart instead of wasting time with research or experience. Living a clean lifestyle has allowed him to focus on doing good in school, honing his writing, and tinkering with technology. He lives well outside of Toronto with his mother and her cat while maintaining a long-distance relationship with his girlfriend, Misty (aka Éowyn16), who no longer responds to his direct messages, but he remains hopeful for a future with. Leonard is a co-founder of provocative fiction peddling publisher Forest City Pulp.
On that note, you should probably take Gawker's pledge of Apple Watch abstinence: "I Will Not Have Sex With Anyone Who Wears an AppleWatch."