If you would like to live alone in Noe Valley, you have no furniture besides a bed, and you're a relatively tiny person who does not cook and owns no clothes, I've got great news for you: This highly closet-like "mini-studio" has come on the market, as Curbed reports, for a mere $1425/month. Lest anyone think you can still get more bang for you buck here than in Manhattan, that ship has clearly sailed.

The sheer fact that the landlord has gone with "mini-studio" in the description betrays some shame about the embarrassing size of this unit, which is just 216 square feet. Is that even legal? It does have a window, and a sink, and a mini fridge. But that is all. You'll be microwaving your ramen dinners and eating them on your only allowable piece of furniture — a bed — as you contemplate what brought you to this place in life where you'd want to spend $50 a day to live in this cell. Maybe having roommates isn't such a bad thing, you think. Maybe you should have considered neighborhoods like the Richmond or Upper Haight.

When you wake up to have your morning coffee and stare at this...


... you'll first wonder where to put your coffee down because the microwave has taken up all the counter space, and then you'll ask yourself what this apartment used to be, because obviously it wasn't an apartment.

It's a fairly old building where somehow they managed to carve out this unit from an extra bedroom, and even work in a bathroom with an airplane-sized sink.


If you were in New York, now is about the time you'd be considering Astoria, or Bed-Stuy, just so that you could have more than just a window over your sink, and maybe room for a couch.

You begin regretting every debt you ever accumulated, and contemplating a second job.

Maybe Hayward isn't looking so bad right now.

[Craigslist via Curbed SF]