Watch out, Larry Page—Stephen Colbert is on the warpath! And he wants to sue Google.

Colbert told his audience last night, "You see folks… when I Googled myself this afternoon—as I do every day at 3 sharp. I have a full fibrous lunch, go to the bathroom, and then Google myself until I come out… Folks I was horrified to learn that the Google celebrity profile of me lists my height as 5'10”! 5'10”?! What is that measured in? Hectares?! Because it sure isn't in feet and inches, Google. I'm 5'11”!"

His message to Page: "I demand a retraction, an investigation, an apology and a substantial cash settlement, or I will see your ass in court."

The talk show host pointed out that 5'11" is the listed height for Brad Pitt and Russell Crowe, "When we're in the steam room naked, no shoes, we're looking at each other eye-to-eye. Seriously, 5'10''? Those are Matt Damon numbers. That's down there in the stale air Johnny Depp is sucking. These guys represent the lollipop guild."