Willie Brown, the Assembly speaker-turned-mayor-turned-lobbyist-turned-columnist, who the Chron inexplicably continues to hand a megaphone to, has bestowed upon the city another window into "Willie's World," where San Francisco continues to vie for the 2024 Olympic Games, movies are too long, and dudes under 30 should stop riding bicycles and get themselves some scooters.
If you think that sounds like the ramblings of someone who gets to write about whatever they want with no editorial oversight, well, we wouldn't disagree.
Willie's column this week has him basically sitting in for the current mayor, with Ed Lee telling him, "I have to be out of here in 10 minutes, which means you are the mayor emeritus." It's not hard to see ethical conundrums arising from the mayor passing the reigns of the city to a registered lobbyist, but ethics have never been Willie's strong suit.
At a meeting of the city's department heads held to discuss San Francisco's bid to host the 2024 Olympic games, even though no one wants to host the 2022 games, Da Mayor singles out Giants CEO Larry Baer as the driving force behind the bid.
According to Brown, a number of transportation projects will have to be completed over the next decade if the bid is to be successful, including the Central Subway, the Transbay Transit Center, and the BART extension to San Jose.
Willie also floats the idea of hosting the games at a "pop-up" stadium in Brisbane, because yay start-up terminology! Will a stadium built at minimal cost "disrupt" normal sports venues? Perhaps we can get some venture capitalist round-A funding for the stadium, an enormous construction project which Willie says will magically "go away" when the Games are done.
From there, Willie devotes a few paragraphs to calling San Franciscans bad football fans, and delving into his "Walter Mitty" Fleet Week fantasies before he gets into the real meat of his column: Why are movies these days so damn long?
Willie has Gone Girl in his sights this week, which he says is a fine film with fine acting from both Ben Affleck and Rosamund Pike, who we assume he likes due to her name closely resembling that of Rose Pak.
Willie's beef with the movie is its run time, which clocks in at 149 minutes. Why would anyone make a movie that long when no one will buy a second bag of popcorn, Willie wonders. But, more importantly, Willie's bladder just can't take it.
Brown then pontificates that a rising minimum wage will turn all of the city's hotel restaurants into Hampton Inn-style breakfast buffets, a favorite subject of his.
In closing, Brown would like to know why all the jerks on bicycles are men under 30, and why the most law-abiding road-users are on scooters. Important questions that Ed Lee will likely incorporate into his next stump speech.