Dear Mr. & Mrs. Carter: SFist welcomes you to San Francisco for the final two nights of the U.S. leg of your On The Run tour — at AT&T Park tomorrow, August 5, and Wednesday, August 6.

You might only know AT&T Park as the place where Kimye got engaged last year, but we think you're gonna be pleasantly surprised by its offerings, as well as those of our fine city.

There's a lot of noise in the media surrounding your marriage right now, but we’d like to help make your stay as comfortable as possible. Since you’ve been spotted partaking in the local flavors on different stops along your tour, we’ve gone ahead and compiled a quick list of possible extracurricular activities during your downtime in the Bay, er, Bey Area (our readers might have some suggestions too).

Play Some Secret Shows
This city would lose its collective mind if Bey, say, pulled a GaGa and showed up for an unannounced late night set, at, say Truck or Badlands. Jay? You rock Mezzanine for $5 a head. Both shows enter immediate legendary status.

Grab Dinner At Saison
You’re Jay Z and Beyonce, and Saison is the most expensive, and, possibly, the most breathtaking dining experience in immediate vicinity of AT&T Park. I’m guessing they’d be able to fit the two of you in on short notice, and make a little space for Blue too.

Visit The Exploratorium
Basically the go-to spot for out-of-towners to dazzle their kids. Only thing is it’s always packed during the summer, which would make it a pretty high-profile, maybe a task for Solange, if you all are on good terms?

Rent A Yacht
Self explanatory.

Surprise A School
We bet the faces at AT&T are gonna be shining Tuesday and Wednesday night, but nowhere near as brightly if you showed up unexpectedly at one of the Bay Area’s elementary schools. It wouldn't be the first time.

Get Wings At San Tung
San Tung isn't into VIPs and I doubt they’d even let the royal Carter family skip ahead for a table, but Jay, we know you like wings, and this place has the best damn chicken wings on the planet. And then you can laugh all about it one day in Rick Ross's wing-laden face.

Make A Sequel To 'Picasso Baby' At The De Young
True, SFMOMA is under construction, but the lobby of the de Young could make a perfect setting for Jay to hold an impromptu performance-art piece à la "Picasso Baby." Plus, if Bey and Blue get bored, they could walk across the street to California Academy of Sciences.

Sunbathe At Baker Beach
You three love the beach, so if you get a clear, warm, sunny day while you’re here (highly unlikely), head on down to Baker Beach. The water might be questionable to swim in, but it’s a great place to soak in the sun that’s offset by killer views of the Golden Gate Bridge. Highly Instagrammable material here.

Grab A Bloody Mary at Zeitgeist
Actually, we heard Rhianna may have been spotted there once. So scratch that.

Get A Taste Of Home
You’ve have been out on the road with On The Run since the end of June, so you might be feeling a little homesick. Unfortunately for Beyonce, there’s not a ton of great Tex-Mex places like in her native Houston, but we do have lots of awesome Cal-Mex, like El Farolito or Taqueria Cancun. Jay, if you’re missing Brooklyn… maybe head to Oakland?

Record Some Singles
The media’s been pretty ruthless with rumors about your marriage the last few weeks, so channel that angst and blow off some steam at one of our many recording studios, like Hyde Street Studios or Tiny Telephone.

Helicopter To Wine Country
Sure, it’s an easy drive to the marvels of wine country from San Francisco, but you’re Jay and Bey. Heli that shit.

Get A Mural Family Portrait In The Mission
Instagrams are fun, but if you really want people to remember your S.F. trip, commision a portrait in the Balmy Alley Murals.

Hang Out At Dolores Park
This probably is a no-go, but if Jay Z, Beyonce, and Blue Ivy were spotted spending a sunny day out in Dolores Park, then went to Bi-Rite for ice cream afterwards, we're pretty sure all would be right with the world.

Win A Local Rap Contest
Jay, can you go ahead and finally win this rap contest while you’re in town so we can stop seeing these flyers posted everywhere? Thanks!

Kevin Smith is an Oakland-based writer and you can read his work here.

Previously: Your Questions About The Beyonce/Jay Z Divorce Rumors Answered
Are Beyonce And Jay Z On The Verge Of Divorce?

(photo credit: I am Jeffrey)