Lisa McIntire has really had enough of having her lifestyle choices judged by office supplies, and who can blame her? First it was the stapler telling her she looked "used up," then it was a rubber band ball hissing at her to "stay the hell away from my boyfriend." And just when McIntire finally thought things were settling down, this happens.

It gets worse, though. The offending envelope arrived at the home of...McIntire's mother.


But what is the "special offer"? Actually, no. Don't want to know.