(By E. Chang)
The Week That Was:
Won 1, lost 2 against the Diamondbacks.
Won 0, lost 3 against the Padres.
13-12 for the season.
The Week That Will Be:
3 games at Arizona against the Diamondbacks. (We won Monday!)
3 games at home against the Dodgers.
The first month of baseball is just about in the books and the Giants are HEY HOW BOUT DEM WARRIORS! That Steph Curry, he sure is something, ain't he? Yeah, his ankles are made of glass and he chews on that mouthguard like an alpaca, but the man makes it rain like a rapper with a stack of ones. He now holds the NBA record for 3-pointers in a season, is averaging a double-double in this playoff series, and his performance in last night's 3rd quarter is an instant classic. He should have been in the All-Star game this year, he'll definitely be in it next year -- unless his ankles end up like your iPhone screen. I'm a horrible person. How bout them Warriors!
The Giants this past week were absolutely, unquestionably, depressingly DAMN THE NINERS CLEANED UP IN THAT DRAFT! I mean, sure, the Niners didn't have too many holes that needed filling, but dagnammit, they made it to the big dance last year and they got stood up and I'm still crying into my pillow. Not this year. This year, they're wearing Cool Water cologne. The Niners drafted a safety, a Tank, and Frank Gore pt. II. We drafted a Tank! This year when Daisy Does The Niners, they're gonna put a Super Bowl ring on it. God, I hope that wasn't a jinx.
So, the Giants. Ok, look, it's April and it's a cruel month. April baseball is like the opening drive of a football game or the first 45 minutes of a basketball game -- it's nice to get off to a good start, but it's almost meaningless. Baseball, more than any other sport, as handsomely portrayed by Brad Pitt in Moneyball, is a game of statistics, and as any stat-head can tell you, April baseball is just too small of a sample size to reach any significant conclusions. April means nothing. Keep telling yourself that as you note that the Giants were on a five-game losing streak; that the Giants just got swept in a three-game series for the second time this season; that Matt Cain has yet to record a win; that none of the Giants' starters are batting over .300; that the Giants are in 3rd place in the NL West. Too small of a sample size. April means nothing. Now say it again.
Feels better, right?