Former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown, it seems, was one of the lucky attendees at MC Hammer's 50th birthday party at the Tonga Room. He wrote about the festivities in his Sunday column for The Chronicle. Once again, however, we leave Brown's golden nuggets of wisdom amused yet confused. Behold:

M.C. Hammer had a happening happy birthday the other night with about 300 guests at the Fairmont's legendary Tonga Room.

Half of them were in white suits, white ties and white shoes, which apparently is a Hammer thing.

The former rapper has turned himself into quite a voice on the Internet, with hundreds of thousands of people following his blog and tweets about culture and dance.

It's almost like he's an Internet version of that old Saturday morning dance program, "Soul Train."

And the Google folks are treating it like a gold mine.

What is he talking about? No, really, what is he talking about? We have no idea what Hammer's aforementioned Twitter followers have to do with Google. Maybe Willie thinks blog/tweet traffic (does Hammer have a blog? Ah, yes, he has a Blogger account AND his own search engine) means Google traffic? Maybe he thinks the internet is called Google? Or...something? It's all a bit senseless. Then again, if we ruled San Francisco with an invisible glove, as Brown does, we sure as hell would write about whatever we wanted for city's most popular paper, no matter how loopy the content — even advertorial for Subway sandwiches.

Don't go changing, Chron. No one publishes the deranged ramblings of an old man like you do.