(By Daisy Barringer)

Today I feel like a petulant child. A petulant child who’s been given almost everything she’s ever asked for, yet is whining because she asked for another cookie and was told no. Should a child throw a temper tantrum because she wasn’t allowed an eleventh cookie? Probably not. But you know what? I really wanted that cookie. So, I am going to stomp my feet and cry and pout and I’m not going to shut up until I get three more cookies and the No. 2 seed in the NFC.

Yesterday, some my worst fears about this 49ers football team were realized. Our defense, with Patrick Willis injured on the sidelines, looked the softest it has all season. GREAT: They can stop the run. But who cares if WR Larry Fitzgerald is going to have 7 catches for 149 yards and a TD? (Willis doesn’t play secondary, so that may have happened anyway, but I have to think his lack of leadership presence alone is a game changer. Don’t worry though: I also put a ton of blame square on the shoulders of our safeties.)

And sure, it’s awesome that Frank Gore rushed for 1,000 yards for his fifth season and yes, his 37 yard run for a touchdown was a thing of beauty, but to only give him the ball TEN TIMES the entire game?

Because you know what happens when you’re not running the ball? That’s right: You’re throwing it. 37 times, to be exact. And if Alex Smith were Aaron Rodgers, that would be fine. But he’s not. He’s Alex Smith. And because of that, the 49ers scored three field goals in the first half when they should have scored touchdowns. Because of that, they failed to score when they were in the red zone. Because of that, we lost the game 21-19.

Of course there is more to blame than the 49ers complete inability to score in the red zone. (They have only scored three TDs in their last 19 trips there.) The offensive line, with Joe Staley out because of a head injury (A concussion? No one is saying.), allowed five sacks on Alex Smith (who was also under constant pressure). The coaching was lackluster and, at times, just totally confusing. The entire team (save for Special Teams) seemed tired and uninspired.

And, then, there’s the total game changer.

The stupid moronic [insert cuss words of your choice here] refs who allowed Whisenhunt’s VERY LATE challenge flag to nullify the fake field goal play. In case you do something on Sunday besides watch Niners’ football (gross), here’s what happened:

The 49ers lined up for a 50-yard field goal with 8:32 left in the quarter. Andy Lee

made a near-perfect pass to 318-pound Goodwin who caught it to set up a San Francisco 1st-and-goal. Except, the officials decided to blow the whistle AFTER THE SNAP and quash the entire play—the beautiful and momentum-shifting play. Akers then missed the field goal and… well, the rest is history.

Savage.

But then, even as I type that, I hate that I’m getting so pissed off that the refs took away a TRICK play. Why do we have to rely on trick plays to get points on the board? Why can’t we just be a normal football team who can score in the red zone? Not, like, EVERY time. No, no. I’m not greedy (well, I am—cookies!—but you know what I mean). I just want to know that Alex Smith can throw a TD pass in the red zone to a WR or TE if and when we need to. Like yesterday, FOR EXAMPLE.

But we can’t. So we lost. At the end of the day, I really think that’s what it comes down to. And so now we are 10-3. And because the Titans couldn’t pull off the win, the New Orleans Saints are also 10-3. And suddenly, The Chronicle has totally changed their original story and now reports that the Saints have the easier schedule. Which they do. Yes, we have the tiebreaker edge because we have a better conference record, but we basically HAVE to win our next three games.

Which I’m just not sure we can do. (Fingers crossed Steelers LB James Harrison gets at least a one game suspension for his helmet-to-helmet hit on Colt McCoy. And that Roethlisberger’s ankle injury is worse than it seemed. YUP. It’s come to that, people. I am now the girl who roots for suspensions and injuries. Whatever it takes.) But we have to do.

The 49ers finally have the limelight again for the first time in a long time. There were more Niners’ “fans” in The Blackthorn Tavern yesterday than I have ever seen. Friends who have never spoken to me about football are now suddenly super involved in the season. Everyone wants a piece of this team who is going to the playoffs, and no one seems to feel an ounce of shame about the fact that they’re bandwagoners.

Clearly this bothers me. There’s just something about a gaggle of girls in full hair and make-up in the bar on a Sunday afternoon “rooting” for the 49ers that makes my skin crawl. (Sorry if that’s sexist, but I think I’m allowed to be since I’m a girl? That’s how that works, right?) A little lesson for the ladies: Boys don’t go to sports bars on Sunday to pick up chicks. They go to sports bars on Sunday to watch football. If you’re going to wake up and blow out your hair and put on red lipstick and high heels, you’d be better off at a fancy mimosa-drinking brunch where at least your other girl friends will appreciate your effort. I just saved you so much wasted time. You. Are. Welcome.

But I don’t even know why I’m ranting about that* because, while it’s annoying for sure, what’s even more annoying is that the San Francisco 49ers haven’t been able to get any respect from the mainstream media this entire season. Every single win has been followed by criticism of the team we beat and tons of doubt that the Niners could actually win if they play a Green Bay or a New Orleans. All season, I’ve been saying that the media is wrong. That they’re just haters. That they don’t understand that magic of this season.

But, and I hate to say it, but I have to: Yesterday, the 49ers proved them right.

Luckily, we have the rest of the season to prove them wrong. And I look forward to it.**

I’m going to save my prediction for next week’s Monday night game against the Steelers for my Friday 49ers preview. There are too many things up in the air right now (see: my raging emotions) for me to make a good analysis.

Finally, I’m still so happy that the 49ers won the NFC West and are going to the playoffs. But I’m pissed today because I think that was a stupid loss. We could have won, but we didn’t. And so, I’m sorry if I seem ungrateful, but, in this exact moment, I am. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go about the rest of my day with a scowl on my face and daggers in my eyes. Tomorrow, I’ll put it behind me and remember how to smile. It may seem dramatic, but it’s just who I am.***

*Yes I do. It’s because I’m in a foul mood because we lost. Losing makes me bitchy.
Fact.

**Pathetic attempt at optimism.

***At least you don’t have to date me.