Are you a talented (or camera-friendly) home cook? Producers of FOX's MasterChef, a cooking reality show that insults amateur chefs, will be in San Francisco on Saturday to cast for the third season. You must bring with you one prepared dish to be served to the food judges. According to the show's site, "You will be given a few minutes to plate your dish at the given casting location, but there will not be a kitchen to cook or warm it up so come prepared!"

Hear that? Do not bring items that you need to cook at the casting session. And don't bring some sappy tale about how hard your life has been, that MasterChef is the only thing that can save you. No wait, scratch that. Do bring a sad story of Annie Warbuckian hard-luck. FOX reality programming loves such cloying poop.

Also, as we mention, the judges are complete assholes—self-consciously so. Gordon Ramsey takes on a role that is so inarguably chockfull of lumpy fecal matter. The mind boggles. It reels. It recoils. It fumes. What a hack. All of them. They're all so mean, but for shtick's sake. Just look at this:

What a bunch of barf bags.

Anyway, details are as follows: Saturday, December 10 at Le Cordon Bleu (350 Rhode Island), San Francisco, 10:00 AM - 6:00 PM

[via SF Appeal]