Oh gee, folks. No one is voting today! Or so said the visibly upset poll station worker where we cast our ballot. (She was so sad, you guys!) Our SOMA polling station at lunchtime was as barren as a 95-year-old dowager. As empty as the Powerhouse after the lights turn on. As desolate as a Mission Bay neighborhood street after 6 o'clock. Hardly any of you are voting today. Have you voted? You should.
"Dude, all of the candidates suck," you whine? We'll let you and your precious political choosing powers know just as soon as Santa Claus and The Great Pumpkin share a ticket. Until then, it's sorta, kinda, totally your duty to vote today.
Look, we don't like it either. Voting is for dorks. Not sexy faux-dorks in indierock bands or DIY collectives; it's for actual dorks. It's not sexy. But voting is so easy. While we can't yet vote from the comfort of our laptop--an issue that still riles our nerves--it is nice to get out now and then by visiting a polling station.
What's that? No. No, you do not have to wear the red "I Voted" sticker. We sure as hell aren't. (Unless, of course, we want a free drink at any number of bars in the Bay Area who have such Election Day offers.) Also, we get that both Facebook and Twitter have been awful reads today (if not for the past month or so) since they're both littered with political gibberish. We've unsubscribed updates from so many of our "friends", that we're left with our parents and the handful of dysfunctional teens and drug users we follow to add twists and turns to our wall social media reading.
Thanks. Bye. Go vote.