We arrive again at Friday, when it's time to check in on former Mayor and noted hat-wearer Willie Brown's weekly escapades. This week: Willie reviews the parklet trend, makes fun of Tom Ammiano, picks winners for the NFL season and hits a VIP post-debate cocktail party.

Out on one of his downtown strolls recently, Willie decided to experience this whole parking space-turned-public space, parklet trend for himself. Judging by his grumpy harumph of a review, he's not a fan: "They look like overgrown flower boxes," he says and besides "they take up a lot of parking spaces." (Which: yes, Willie, that's kind of the point.) But he can't deny they are serving their function as parks: the first one he visited "had obviously been used as a bathroom" and in the second he spotted a guy and a gal (ahem) 'socializing' in the bushes. He doesn't say which parklets he hit though, so if you're trying to find some streetside space for coitus you'll have to scout them out on your own.

In sports, Willie is picking Philadelphia, New England, New Orleans and Green Bay to be the teams to watch in the NFL this year. Of his beloved 49ers, Fairweather Willie says the home team is looking to hit it's goal of an 0-16 record on the season so they can just call it a wash and draft Andrew Luck for next year.

On the topic of the current Mayor's race, Willie thinks everyone is being far too serious at these recent debates. We might beg to differ, but the man is (of course) entitled to his opinion, plus it allows him to share a hilarious personal anecdote about the time he zinged Tom Ammiano at a runoff debate. Observe:

The three of us were all in a line at the front, with [KCBS' Barbara Taylor] and Tom both to my right.

Tom does his 90-second intro.

My turn. I turn to my right and say, "Before we start, I want to say you really look good tonight."

Ammiano says: "Thank you."

And I, of course, smile and say, "I was talking to Barbara."

The audience went crazy. And Tom was off his game for the rest of the night.

So now, all these years later, we can finally lay the blame for Ammiano's loss on Barbara Taylor's stunning good looks.

No restaurant report from Willie this week, but he did attend a VIP cocktail party after the Jobs and Sustainable Growth debate at USCF Mission Bay the other night where he entertained the crowd, and one Bay Guardian reporter, with this standup routine. Touching on the subject of running for office in the Internet Age, Willie told the crowd he's glad we didn't have all this fancy technology when he was running for office. Why? Because, "I can't imagine the photographs you'd have of me floating around doing things I shouldn't have been doing." We can imagine, Willie. But we'd rather not.

[Willie's World]
[SFBG]