We know how everyone loves this neighborhood naming game, so allow us to up the ire factor today over a micro-hood being invented by The Bold Italic called Valencia Bottoms. They're having an event tomorrow, you see, a street fair of sorts to celebrate that bit of Valencia between 15th and Market which they say "is quietly becoming a destination unto itself, housing delicious slow bar coffee, impeccable midcentury modern furnishings, beautiful visual art, along with locally-made fashions and vintage threads."
OK, so, we were kind of on board with FolSoMa and Mint Slope -- microhoods that make some sense and whose names are perfectly descriptive. But it's the name here that we take exception to. In the gay world, first of all, Valencia bottoms are a proud community unto themselves, and we imagine they would object as well. And if the point was to contrast with Valencia Heights -- another neighborhood that doesn't exist but which we imagine would be like in the 18th to 24th Street range? -- we think Valencia Gulch or ValenMark, or McCoppin Gulch would have been far, far better, and less confusing.