It's Wednesday, and we at SFist are going to revive a long-ago feature in which we tirelessly read, and summarize, the stories of note in this week's alt-weeklies. We like to be service-y like that, you see, because we love you, and we respect your distaste for ink-stained fingers.

SF Weekly

Cover Story: "Obstruction of Justice" - Peter Jamison pens this piece on San Francisco's inability to prosecute felonies in a reasonable amount of time, starting off with a great hook -- the harrowing tale of Evan Kruger (pictured at right) -- who some might call attractive but who might prefer not to be recognized -- who was kidnapped and forced to kneel in some grass out by Hunters Point with a gun to his head. Some dude named Anwar Webster wanted him dead, because he thought he'd slept with his girlfriend, but the guy he was making pull the trigger for him didn't want to do it, so he told Evan to fake getting shot, fired a shot into the ground, ran off, and later came back to take Evan home. The case was a little complicated by the fact that no bullet casing was ever found at the scene, and the gunman, a guy named Abraham, was never located. Four years later, Webster barely got brought to justice -- the prosecution backed off, and Webster's only going to serve a month of jail time for what has been deemed a "youthful indiscretion" brought on by too much TV. The Krugers, obviously pissed, went to the press.
Other Stuff: Matt Smith rails on about hiring S.F. cops from the suburbs, and local hiring ordinances in general; Lauren Smiley pens a lovely bit about women learning how to pee standing up; Restaurant Review- Cafe Des Amis; Theater Review: We Players' production of Hamlet staged on Alcatraz; Film Review - 127 Hours