Abortion enthusiasts? Listen up. This weekend will be the abortion weekend to end all other abortion weekend.

In this corner we have the anti-abortion's '5th Annual Walk for Life West Coast,' which targets in-a-delicate-way dames to save their unborn blessings. Really, these people are amusing as all hell. They bus in loads of anti-abortion women, men and children (25,000 of them!) who scream about Godat the foot of Market Street on Saturday, January 24, and then walk nearly 2 miles across the city, through Fisherman’s Wharf ending at Marina Green at the Golden Gate Bridge. Speakers include Diana Nagy ("singer"), Mother Agnes Mary (nun), Frank Lee (coordinator of Asian Americans Against Abortion who has a penis), Rev. Clenard Childress (Director of LEARN and penis carrier), and Karen Shablin (Feminists for Life).

Don't forget to hit the Walk for Life After Party at St. Dominic’s (2390 Bush) later that night. Rumor has it this afterparty is a huge cokefest.

And in the other corner, we have the pro-abortionists. The Bay Area Coalition on Our Reproductive Rights (BACORR), who will hold a 'Rally for Reproductive Rights,' a protest responding to the large contingency of anti-abortionists caterwauling against reproductive rights for women. This fete begins at 10:30 a.m. on Saturday at the Music Concourse at Market & Embarcadero Streets. They march around 11 a.m. Speakers include Gabriela Network, UA in the Bay, the Raging Grannies, World Can't Wait, Radical Women, and fame-hungry Cindy Sheehan.

BACORR's press release asks you to "show up with a sign & a lot of spunk." But that's what getting all you fine ladies into trouble in the first place! But seriously, folks, get out there and have fun. And don't forget the electric tape.

Photo by Jim Herd