Well then. In a little over five days, the Third Annual Global Orgasm for Peace will be felt around the world. What is Global Orgasm? Well, it oversimplifies and exploits something so complicated yet horrifying as war in the name of rubbing one out. According to official Global Orgasm site, the day will "effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible instantaneous surge of human biological, mental and spiritual energy." That is to say, you are all asked to achieve sexual climax on Sunday December 21 at 12.04 p.m. (four minutes after noon) Greenwich Mean Time. Good luck.