-Dodgers 5 Giants 0: Opening Days are always hyped beyond what they should be as people have a tendency to look at the first game as some sort of harbinger. But while it’s not true, this game could very well have given away the entire season's plot. Let's see... Zito got shelled, the offense did nothing, the Giants played an all vet outfield despite the plethora of kids, and somebody named Brian Bocock played short while somebody named Jose Castillo played third. We know there's a few people out there who are holding onto sliver and slivers of hope that the Giants could actually catch lightning in a jar and not be so bad, but according to our handy-dandy strat-o-matic, it'll take a combination of Joe Torre being indicted for being Roger Clemens' drug dealer, the humidor breaking in Colorado, the Padres suffering a season long stomach bug due to bad fish tacos, and Global Warming to cause a sand storm that totally wipes out Phoenix for the Giants to win this year. And even then, they'd still need some luck.
-The Warriors are now in a three-way tie for seventh place. Those math majors out there will notice that means that only two out of those three teams would make the playoffs, something that would be correct. Unfortunately, the team that would be looking in from the outside would be the Warriors who have losing records to both their seventh-place cohorts Nuggets and Mavericks. In order to not get the playoff invite, the Warriors would have to win their final match up with both teams to get in. Or just win more games (duh), which won’t be as easy as it sounds as they are about to go on a four game road trip featuring games against said Mavs as well as San Antonio and division leading New Orleans.
And, yes, the clip is of that speech from Bull Durham (NSFW) from way back when Kevin Costner was considered cool.