The Dhaliwal brothers, they seem like a couple of nasty little rapscallions. Ruffians, we'll go so far as to say. Why? Because after last week's Christmastime big-cat attack - a mauling that took the life of their "friend," Carlos Sousa Jr. - it seems that at the two brothers "had slingshots on them at the time" - well, at least according to "sources" at the New York Post. (Seriously, aside from aspiring serial killers, who does this? Who goes to a zoo to aggressively taunt the animals? This behavior goes well above and beyond the reliable boys-will-be-boys excuse.)

In addition to the mini catapult, an "empty vodka bottle was also found in a car used by Amritpal Dhaliwal" the Post goes on to say. (What, no Ranch Dressing?)

But have no fear, the Dhaliwals landed themselves Mark Geragos, the same media slut attorney who defended Michael Jackson, Winona Ryder, Gary Condit, and the dreamy Scott Peterson. Regarding the rumored taunting, Geragos hyperbolically told the Chronicle that "'as far as [he was] concerned, that's an urban legend ... there was no taunting of the tiger.'"

And with that, we're off. Come on, a media circus involving actual animals? This is going to get interesting.