Did you know that the "North of Market Holiday Celebration" is coming up? Neither did we! And neither did the rest of the internet, because there's no mention of the (possibly-fictitious) event anywhere else online. What could it possibly be? We simply couldn't find any information or imagery related to the damn thing; and that's why we decided to run this totally-unrelated picture from a few weeks ago.

Anyway, Muni claims that they'll be closing Jones Street between McAllister Street and Golden Gate Avenue on Saturday (tomorrow!) for this so-called celebration from 8am to 5pm. We're suspicious about this "Jones Street" -- sounds like a pseudonym to us. Frankly, the whole thing stinks of a cover-up. After all, what is there north of Market to celebrate? Aside from Bob, of course.

Oh, also, there's some kind of football thing happening, or whatever.

After the jump: details! Bus lines! And the word "more" repeated three times for no discernible reason!