You may have already noticied the surprising tactical move to seize local public transportation, or the advance battalions who've landed on the Embarcadero, sending skirmishers down Market street. Word is that their supported by another invasion force on the North Coast, while yet another detachment is rumored to be marching from South City. BARBARians have us cornered on this damn peninsula!
This is especially disconcerting considering news that the invasion is already on the march in New Jersey, where they've even commandeered supermarkets. We can only assume that the forces attacking the coast are in support of a rebellion in Chicago originally reported by National Public Radio. In fact, secret documents obtained by SFist suggest millions and millions of troops are currently hiding in 'sleeper cells' at your local Walgreens. Defense planners are wary, because outfitting whole regiments costs less than five dollars.
In case this invasion does succeed in overwhelming the Department of Homeland Security, SFist would just like to say welcome to our little green plastic overlords, and pledge our unwavering loyalty to your cause.Photo by a blogger embedded within Kvatch's Kommandos.