We're starting to think that the Haight's
Red Vic Movie House, a worker-owned theater with comfy couches and yummy popcorn, is hitting that age (you know that age) when they think about sex like, all the time. Sure, the Red Vic is 25 now and all grown up, and we feel really bad we didn't buy the Vic a beer four years ago, but we remember reaching 25 and suddenly getting all sex crazy again. Or maybe it never went away. Regardless, a look at this month's coming (ahem) attractions at one of our favorite movie houses is very revealing, indeed. As in hardcore, 100-year-old porn and two weekends of unintentionally hilarious 3D porn classics.

This weekend, the Red Vic is running the adults-only feature, "The Good Old Naughty Days" which features 69 minutes of porn filmed between 1905 and 1930. The first major theater release of a porn movie since 1972's Deep Throat, we have no idea why it got renamed from "Polisson et Galipettes" ("Rascal and Somersaults") into is current clunky moniker, but it's still really neato to be able to see porn made over a century ago. Those beautiful girls and randy guys are likely no longer among the living, but for a few bucks we can see them cavorting, rutting and acting out the centurian's version of the pizza delivery guy porn skit brought to life.

And don't think that because the porn is old it's any softer than it's contemporary cookie-cutter counterparts. Oh, no, dear reader, quite the opposite. This collection was intended to be shown as an appetizer for brothel patrons' entertainment while they waited for their "date", and it contains material far riskier, raunchier and far less restrained by modern gender and homophibia perceptions than anything coming out of Porn Valley (not to mention better bodies). Vintage come shots, bend-over-boyfriend action and mixed gender couplings are just a taste. What's more, it's rumored that real film professionals were behind the cameras, as evidenced by the eloquent lighting, elaborate costumes and expressive set design.

But our good old naughty friends at the Red Vic aren't stopping there; they not only want to put porn in our faces but in our hot little laps, too; namely with two upcoming weekends featuring the campiest 3D porn films to ever straddle the big screen. That's right, 70s porn in 3D! Imagine the horror, er, we mean, possibilities. Well, whether you think that "Disco Dolls in Hot Skin" (Jan. 13, 14) or "Lollipop Girls in Hard Candy" (starring John Holmes, Jan. 20, 21) are made to frighten, titillate, arouse or annoy, it sounds like a great excuse to kick back on a Red Vic couch, nibble that fresh 'n tasty popcorn. Like we need an excuse to nibble anything.

Hot nights at the Red Vic in January (click for showtimes; no one under 18 admitted, duh):
"The Good Old Naughty Days" Friday the 6th and Saturday the 8th
"Disco Dolls in Hot Skin" Friday the 13th and Saturday the 14th
"Lollipop Girls in Hard Candy" Friday the 20th and Saturday the 21st

SFist Violet, contributing.