Crusty Bum #1 pointing at leg of Crusty Bum #2: "That's not crabs that does that. Lice don't do that neither."
-- From Marty / Outside Civic Center Library

Frat Dude on Cell: "Yeah, I'll be there, but first I'm gonna pop in and grab a tattoo."
-- From Jas / On Haight outside Hobson's

Daughter (loudly): "Did you vote for Prop 73?"
Father (uncomfortable murmur): "Err, which was that?"
Daughter (l) : "The ABORTION one."
Father (um) : "Oh the parental notification thing."
Daughter (l) : "Yes, about ABORTION."
Father (um) : "Yeah, I think I voted against it."
Daughter (l) : "Wouldn't you want to know?"
Father (l) : "Err, um."
Daughter : "Hey dad, I had an ABORTION."
(uncomfortable pause)
Daughter: "That was pretty funny, right?"
-- From Dan / Le Regal in Berkeley

Bum in reclining office chair: "Spare $100?"
-- 8th and Market