Have we got a job for you! KRON-4, the Bay Area's ostensible news station, just posted a help-wanted notice for a reporter! How cool is that! Oh, to stand on the shoulders of giants like no-nonsense Vic Lee and dreamy Ross Palumbo. And how hard can it be, anyway? As Gary Radnich once put it, "no matter how KRON looks ... we're ." Qualifications include:
- Willingness and interest in experimenting in new ways to tell stories
- Position may require employee to work early morning or late-night shift
- Applicants should submit a current resume and references
- Ideal candidates must be self-starters, hard workers, have great attitudes, be versatile, and efficient
Dude! We're TOTALLY versatile! Just ask our references, they're behind us all the way!
Ever since the mysterious (and, dare we say, suspicious) disappearance of charming anchoress Julie Luck, you've been biding your time, waiting for KRON to realize that its charm factor has dropped precipitously, and now desperately hungers for your winsome smile ... your comforting voice of reason ... and your soothing, perfect hair. Well, now, your wait is up -- go get 'em, you little Junior Cronkite, you.
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