We Gotta Get Out Of This Place

You know, we love all the talk about secession because, well, it's fun. But let's face it, do we really want to secede? If we did, we'd have nothing to make us all puffed up with smugness about how much better it is here than the rest of the country. And whom would we have to rebel against? As Americans, we're nonconformist sexual outlaws rebelling against Middle American society. Take Middle America out of the equation and we're just a bunch of tattooed, dyed hair freaks. Face it, we need to be part of America.