Greetings loyal readers. Welcome to Tuesday. You know those annoying people you see at Giants games with the laptops, busily availing themselves of the free wi-fi network? The Essefficist is them. Even as we type, JT Snow has just smoked a double off the centerfield wall. Now Fonzie's up. We got our Jason Schmidt posters; did you? Anyways, today's question is a perfect example of why the Essefficist was put on this Earth. Look and learn, young Padawans.

Where should I go to watch a the midnight opening of Episode III now that the Coronet is closed? Where will all the guys dressed up as Stormtroopers and Jedi go to flaunt their knowledge of the ways of the force, their light saber skills, and their sewing ability? Ideally, It should be a big single-screen theater, but the only one I can think of in San Francisco is the Castro and I'm not getting a real strong indication from the force that they'd show a Star Wars movie. What's a fanboy to do?

And, oh, I almost forgot, what is thy bidding, my master?

Bowing to you,

TK421, Cell Block 1138

Oh, no need to bow, TK421. Why aren't you at your post? Get up. Rise, and giveth us instead $7.50, with which to buy some buffalo chicken tenders. Or a movie ticket. We here at SFist, always game to obsess over Star Wars, have publicly lamented the loss of the Coronet and wondered about just this question.

We checked in with a friend at ILM who poked around and told us that the movie will be playing at the Metreon, the AMC theaters, the Century 20, and the Metro, not to mention about 40,000 other screens near you. We asked them about the Cinema, in Corte Madera (where we watched the Star Wars movies as a kid), which isn't too far from ILM itself, and yeah, it'll be playing there. (And they're doing the company screening there.) But she didn't have any of the juicy bits we were looking for about the midnight screening action.

So we went to the mother-lode: the message boards at Specifically, the San Francisco Fanforce message boards. Even more specifically, a thread entitled REVENGE OF THE SITH - SF PREMIERE. Not surprisingly, we found out pretty much everything we needed to know.

Dear Darth Essefficist, Dork Lord of the SFith-