Richard Alden Samuel McCroskey III of Castro Valley, the aspiring GANGSTA URBAN HIP-HOP RAP artist known as "Syko Sam" who allegedly killed four people in a small Virginia town (including his wildly naive girlfriend), bludgeoned his victims to death. Why? Because ""Jesus told [Syko Sam] to do it."

The bodies -- who were found over the weekend in a small town 50 miles west of Richmond, Virginia -- have been identified as Mark Niederbrock, a Presbyterian pastor, "Longwood University professor Debra Kelley, 53; Emma Niederbrock, 16, the daughter of Kelley and Mark Niederbrock; and Melanie Wells, 18, of Inwood, W.Va."

According to CBS 5/AP, Syko Sam was a "meek and kind person," one who crooned about "killing, maiming and mutilating" his fellow human beings. He presumably met Emma Niederbrock via MySpace, who had professed her love to him on the social networking site days before being beaten to death.

Check out his MySpace page here.

FILM: In Being Michael Madsen, the titular star "turns the tables on notorious paparazzo, Billy Dant, by hiring a trio of documentary filmmakers to chronicle Dant's life, loves, and troubles." Crafty! The film also stars David Carradine, Daryl Hannah, and Virginia Madsen. Screens at The Roxie.

READING: Michael Layne Heath and William Taylor Jr. read in honor of Abraham Lincoln's birthday (and of being our first gay Republican president!) at Dog Eared Books.

* MUSIC: Put on your favorite black t-shit and whitest face powder. The queen has returned. Lead singer of Siouxsie & the Banshees and the Creatures, Siouxsie Sioux has influenced countless goth bands, punk outfits, girl groups, and trannies. Now, after a disastrous performance at the Warfield several years ago, she returns (this time to the Fillmore) for a two-night stay. Her "Mantaray & More Tour" opens with Rasputina.

CLUB: Before Trannyshack bids us adieu , check out the return of former Trannyshacker and current Scissor Sister Ana Matronic for "Ladies Choice" night. For those of you not in the know, the show starts a midnight at The Stud in SOMA.

The listed events were chosen by the editors of SFist and brought to you by the 2009 Toyota Corolla.

Maybe Tony Hall needs to put a yellow sticky on his campaign credit card and label it "FOR CAMPAIGN USE ONLY" -- the SF Ethics Commission has decided to proceed on charges against the former city supervisor based on the alleged misuse of funds in his star-crossed attempt to run for mayor last year, and his defense is that he used the wrong credit card.

Namely, that $320 of what Tony Hall characterized as "office supplies," purchased at a Virginia City, Nevada store called "The Old Red Garter?" He now says he accidentally used his campaign credit card instead of his personal one when buying Western-style purses for his daughters, and claims he paid his campaign back as soon as he discovered the error. Maybe the campaign credit card got miles?

Hall also admits that he accidentally used campaign funds to pay for meals and gas after he dropped out of the mayoral race (which, you may recall, was because he said he couldn't raise enough money to run). However, Hall denies the rest of the Ethics Commission's allegations (including the charge that he used campaign funds to pay back a $12,000 personal loan), claiming that this is all a political conspiracy helmed by Gavin Newsom to further besmirch Hall's reputation. C'mon, Tony Hall, Newsom can barely manage to show up for actual political work -- you think Gavin's going to make work for himself?

Picture of a cowboy hat and lasso from the Old Red Garter website.

This is the story behind the best egg nog--and the best egg nog traditions to accompany it.

First, we must explain that this recipe is . It was a secret when Mr. George P. Hunt pried it out of a man named Otis Terrell in Shanghai in 1926, and it was a secret when Mr. Terrell pried it out of Carl Seitz, a lumber executive from Virginia, some years before. We always take care to emphasize this to our guests when they come over to help make the egg nog--secrecy adds a subtle but thrilling flavor to the nog itself. Feel free to pass the recipe along, but always make it seem as if it is being pried out of you.

Having apprenticed at the Terrell household, Mr. Hunt went on to host his own egg nog parties. On the Sunday after Thanksgiving, every year for nearly 60 years, a select group of friends would gather to prepare the secret recipe, a recipe not just for egg nog but for conviviality itself.

After the jump, step-by-step instructions for starting your own 60-year tradition.

Granted that most you fresh food philosophers won't even know what we're talking about right now; you can thank your delicate palates and/or lactose intolerance for that. Feel free to tune into Check, Please! Bay Area while we warn the rest of the others about the following fast-food danger.

General Mills has recalled five million frozen pizzas under the Totino’s Pizza and Jeno’s Pizza brands this morning. It appears that the Totino's recall is due to e-coli contamination in the "pepperoni" toppings. The recalls stems from an Ohio-based General Mills plant pizzeria, from where the problematic "pepperoni" came. Eight cases of e-coli have been reported in Tennessee, with the other cases found in Kentucky, Missouri, New York, Virginia, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Wisconsin, and South Dakota. Just to be case, California, chuck those pizzas in the trash. Red more about the recall here.

While these frozen pizzas aren't nearly as popular as their Pizza Rolls, they are a favorite among many of us who stumble home drunk from the bars at night, needing that sodium blast just before passing out.

The shooter, Jonquel Brooks from Hayward, is still at large and considered armed and dangerous. From the information the police have released, Brooks got in a fight with three men (all of whom are either current or former Fresno State students) in his apartment complex, who accused Brooks of stealing their Playstation. Brooks then shot at the men, killing one and wounding two (the police don't know the status of the fourth person), before fleeing the scene.

Brooks is a criminology major at Fresno State. His ex-girlfriend, a 19 year old freshman, said he's a nice guy who wanted to be a parole officer, but said she hadn't talked to him recently.

Fresno State did a mass-campus alert of the situation but is open for classes today. The student paper is covering the situation. The Fresno Bee is on the story too (and has a picture of the suspect).

Update: The suspect's been arrested. He had shaved his hair and completely changed his clothes to avoid detection, but after a morning of "intense negotiations" with the police, an attorney, and his parents over the phone, he turned himself in. The cops say they were in touch with him all along and knew he wasn't near school, which is why they didn't shut Fresno State down.

To determine all this stuff, the people behind the study, the nonprofit Editorial Projects in Education Research Center (got that?), factored in things like level of income, types of families, language and education. California came in below the national average in things like:

"percent of children whose parents work full-time, speak English, graduated from college, earn at least a middle-level income; percent of children proficient in reading and proficient in math; and percent of adults who work full time."

We're not the best stat-heads, but it appears that our low scores come as a result of having high amounts of immigrants in the state and that could kind of skew the results. We're not sure if that's a correct way to assess anything. Also not mentioned is a definition of "success." We think just as a matter of course that if you want success as a surfer, D-level celebrity, or Burning Man installation builder, we'd totally kick everyone's butt in that.

The one good thing we have going for us is that our schools aren't as bad as some other states. Like New Mexico. Turns out in the determining factors (parents incomes, fluency, etc.) we have the same amount of percentages as New Mexico it's just that our schools do a better job of teaching our kids what the what is. But, just not as good as Virginia.

Did we mention the whole "Macaca" thing?

Isn't it ironic? Don't ya think?

This, of course, comes from the party that gave us Mark Foley, and the methamphetamine man-massage loving religious leader. The one that's been running against gays and for traditional values and well, you know. Even better, they live in Virginia, a state that just passed a referendum standing up for family values and all that stuff.

One can only wonder where the, uh, sperm came from. Somehow, we don't think it came from David Crosby.

Did we mention that we know we're wrong?

Nevertheless what happens here is more important because while the possible defeat of George Allen will be a good thing because it'll make us less embarrassed to be an American, it won't do a damn thing about our schools. And while the eminent clobbering of Rick Santorum fills us with deep joy, it won't do a thing to clean our streets, stop all the violence, or make rents cheaper.

So, what we're saying is vote. Seriously, vote. You might not care and you might think it's essentially a battle between a douche and a turd, but still vote. If only because it gives you the satisfaction of knowing that you tried. And it gives you the smugness of knowing you were one of the estimated 38% of the population who cared.

So, dear reader, what can you expect from SFist tomorrow? We'll be (hopefully) providing an ongoing diary of a poll worker as she sits around watching people come in and do their civic duty. Is it boring? Is it fulfilling? Will she be told to throw the results into the Bay?

And starting at 8, we'll provide live updates, that is, if our illin' DSL will let us.

Finally, SFist is not providing any sort of handy-dandy endorsement guide like the Bay Guardian does (this might be a surprise to some of you, but we really don't endorse candidates or support one over the other. We just want them to give us fun things to write about). But if you still need some election help, we'll give you our handy-dandy election recap/guide after the jump.