The God-fearing folks at San Francisco's St. Michael's Korean Catholic Church have more to fear this week: bell thievery. Over the weekend, it seems, someone stole their massive, church bell that weighs between 400 to 600 pounds. How rude.

"Churchgoers at the Broad Street and San Jose Avenue house of worship were shocked to discover the 110-year-old bell gone on Aug. 17, one day after a seminar at the church let out at around 11 p.m." reports SF Weekly. "Moving the antique bell was no trifling task: The item is described as being about four feet by four feet and weighing between 400 and 600 pounds."

If you've seen anyone lugging around a gargantuan bell, please contact St. Michael's at once.

Yesterday's Up Your Alley Fair is what the Folsom Street Fair used to be before all the tourists pushing baby strollers started showing up. More than 8,000 leather daddies -- and as many as perhaps a dozen biological women -- braved the cold fog wearing little more than a gimp mask and a smile to benefit PAWS, the AIDS Emergency Fund, and others. We tried to limit the amount of naked penis visible in these shots, but in that kind of environment there's only so much a photographer can do. The fully-lubed, unexpurgated photoset can be can be found at DJTennessee's flickr page, as well as a few over at Nature abhors a vacuum.

Again, if it wasn't already clear, the following images are NSFW. They features such jarring imagery as naked breasts, Viagra-infused erections, naked Twister, and Frank Chu possibly exploring his sexuality. You've been warned. Enjoy.

Aside from Juanita More's party at Bambuddha Lounge, the Frameline Film Fest, KRON4 fag hag Jan Wahl's coverage of the parade, the meth cloud that will hover above Beck's Motor Lodge, and the bittersweet tang of buried shame rising to the surface, we can't say we're looking forward to this month's melee. We're just that cool. Or bitter. Or both.

What about you, San Franciscans? Any plans for the big weekend?

While it's not very Bay Area-ish, Jesus is allegedly in all of our hearts. And now look what happened? We blame the sodomites. And Code Pink.

Read more about Rio de Janeiro's wonder of the world getting struck by lightning, or a nifty fit of photoshopping, here.

Image credit: UPPA, via Daily Mail