Results tagged “seinfeld”

this evening (the awesome, awesome episode involving double-dipping and Teri Hatcher's breasts), we were teased during a news break to tune into a very special episode of the KTVU 10 o'clock newscast. Intrigued, we watched something else instead. So what did we miss? Dennis Richmond announced that he is going to retire. His last broadcast will be May 21, 2008.

We've mentioned before that the only "Law & Order" we watch is "Law & Order: Criminal Intent," and the main reason for that is our imaginary boyfriend Vincent D'Onofrio is on it. So you can imagine we were a little worried when the fate of the show was up in the air at the end of last season. It had something to do with the franchise not pulling in the numbers it used to, and production costs needing to be cut. (Of course it should come as no surprise that the shows aren't as big in the ratings as they used to be since you can basically turn the TV on at any time of day and find an episode playing on one of any number of stations.) But apparently a compromise was reached wherein new episodes of "C.I." will air on USA first, and then will be repeated on NBC at some as-yet-to-be announced time in the future. SO! You can catch the season premiere of "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" tonight on USA at 10 p.m.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.

What with Paris Hilton's release earlier this week and the upcoming celebration of American Independence (sorry, Londonist!), we've been thinking a lot about freedom. Freedom to vote, freedom to choose, and most importantly, freedom to blog. Here are a few things we're happy we've been free to blog about this week.

We take you now from the world of politically incorrect comedians to politically incorrect neighbors, that being the new owners of the armory, Kink.com. Now you would think that the opening of a new porn studio would go over well with the neighbors, but for whatever reason, it hasn't. They don't seem to be that happy at all, especially as there's a school nearby and it's a bit of a residential neighborhood. You know the "Seinfeld" episode where Jerry turns down a threesome because he's afraid it would turn him into a "porn guy" and he didn't want to become a "porn guy." Well, that's what we have here-- the neighbors of the armory don't want to become porn guys.

More Apple-related news came out yesterday, as it appears maybe there might just be something going on over there other than what was originally thought. In a story in the Financial Times of London, it was reported that Steve Jobs received about 7.5 million in stock options in 2001 without getting the approval from the company's board. Records were then falsified to make it look like he did get the approval. Don't you love that Apple commercial where the Apple guy tells the PC guy how iLife makes forging documents that much easier to do?

Whlie tomorrow is technically Festivus, we thought we'd get a head start on the holiday that's the holiday for the rest of us. So here's snippets from the "Seinfeld" episode that started it all. We don't have much in the way of grievances to air as we've aired all of our grievances (how many times can you bash MUNI?) but if you got some airing to air, air away in the comments.

Special treat this week, kids: a review. Oh, yeah, and the usual previews too.

Is Chronicle editor Phil Bronstein the new Jerry Seinfeld? Every year, he steps on the stage of the SF Opera in the Park, which the Chron generously helps produce. And people are semi-drunk on chardonnay, satiated on taboule and tomato-and-mozarella salads, they are baking in the sun: they are warmed up already. Yet every year, Phil's attempts to warm up the crowd even more end up in a train wreck. Here are this year's jokes (transcribed by us as honestly as we could), and we'll let you be the judge:

Remember that "Seinfeld" episode where Jerry realizes that no matter what happens, he will always break even? It's the great episode where George decides to do the opposite of everything he normally would do and winds up having great luck but Elaine winds up having a horrible run of bad luck and destroys Pendant Publishing because she can't stop eating jujyfruit and can't open her mouth in time to save everyone. And because all of this, Jerry realizes that no matter what happens to everyone else, he'll always stay the same. Well, that's pretty much summing up the Giants this year. No matter what they do, they seem to be magnetically pulled towards .500. They win a few, then quickly lose a few. They pitch lights out, then get shelled. They score a bunch of runs, then slump. As the song says, "you take the good, you take the bad, and there you have a team that plays golf come October."

(it seemed like it took forever).

It looks like Bud Selig's Barry Bonds voodoo doll is working as last night, before the Giants 2-0 victory over the Brewers, Barry was bonked on the head by a foul ball in batting practice. After all, having Barry hit 715 in the Home of Bud would be the worst possible PR debacle, not to mention total karma. The ball was hit by rookie Kevin Fransden, already making a name for himself with his bone-headed base-running blunders and propensity for being hit by pitches, who joked that he was expecting his locker to be cleared out after batting practice was over. The whole thing was so weird and out-of-nowhere that nobody reacted or did anything until Barry went down on the ground and was treated by the Giants' trainers.

The event seemingly everyone-and-their-senile-uncles was waiting for happened last night, so we can finally move on to other blips on the TV landscape.

In light of all the brouhaha over Gerardo Sandoval's now notorious appearance on Hannity & Colmes last week, the question still out there is what the hell was he thinking? And we don't mean that for what he said but more for what was he thinking saying that on a show on Fox. After all, Hannity & Colmes is to political discourse what two drunken frat boys shoving each other outside the Balboa Cafe because they "have a problem with each other" is to Greco-Roman wrestling.

In continuing with the Raiders retro feel, they recently announced the hiring of new offensive coordinator Tom Walsh to replace whatever offensive coordinator they had before. Walsh, otherwise known as The Other Walsh, has actually been the Offensive Coordinator for the Rai-duhs before. In 1994. When current Head Coach Art Shell was the coach. It was also the last time Walsh held a coaching job in the NFL. How long before Jay Schroeder is signed as the new Raiders QB?

The most exciting thing on TV last night was the season finale of "The Apprentice: Martha Stewart." Which is to say, there was nothing exciting on TV last night.

"Seinfeld" has given much to us over the years. It's given us more words and phrases to enter into our language than Billy Shakespeare, it's given us a whole new way of perceiving and quantifying reality, and it's single-handedly killed off the puffy-shirt look. Could you even say that about "Friends?" It also appears to giving us a new holiday--Festivus, of course.

is all about identity. You name an identity one can have an issue with and it touches upon it-- sexual, political, social, gender-- everything. Which sounds like it could be awful-- all drearily earnest and political and way too 90's, but it's not. It's funny and insightful and, well, pretty darn good.

SFist fully admits to being a fantasy sport geek, although just how big of a fantasy geek we are, we will never let anyone know. Suffice to say that our in-depth knowledge of the Brewers farm system ranks us pretty high. We also have to admit that for whatever reason, we've been having trouble getting into fantasy baseball this season. Early spring weather? An actual job? Too much time posting on SFist? Who knows. We do know, however, that we just got the kick in the pants we needed to start reading through all those super-exciting fantasy baseball books. It was announced yesterday that Yahoo! and the San Francisco Giants are teaming together for a new contest in which the winner of this years' fantasy baseball league will get a job working with Giants GM Brian Sabean.

So yeah, there's a bunch of movies out this week, but like last week's This Week in DVDs, the movies aren't really the important thing. Sure, we love Harry Potter, but this is also the week in which the first three seasons of "Seinfeld" are being released. Is there anything else that matters? Would you rather watch Tom Hanks play an immigrant "discovering" America while stuck in an airport terminal or George Costanza tell someone try to convince an unemployment clerk that he had a job as a latex salesman at Vandelay Industries? Do we even have to ask? With the release of these DVDs, we can really say that Festivus has come early.