Dainty House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who has come under fire recently for allegedly knowing that the U.S. was committing illegal acts of torture, has refuted statements saying that the top Democrat knew that the Bush administration was using waterboarding on detainees in "the war on terror." (Also, waterboarding is the LEAST of what was done to prisoners of war. But we digress.) Pelosi told reporters, according to AP, "To the contrary ... we were told explicitly that waterboarding was not being used." Passing the buck, Pelosi went on to say, ""I wasn't briefed, I was informed that somebody else had been briefed about it." But, come on, she totally knew what was gong on. Anyway, in an effort to divert all of this unwanted attention, Pelosi plans on setting up some sort of "truth commission" to "investigate the events in the Bush administration that led to the use of waterboarding and other harsh interrogation techniques."

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi fancies herself a star more than an elected official, at least according to a NY Post report that claims team Pelosi has been "berating military officials to get the best planes." According to the Rupert Murdoch-owned gossip rag, "Pelosi, who clashed with the military to get nonstop service when she flies home to California with police protection on government planes, revealed a particular fondness for Gulfstream's sleek G-5 - a plane glamorized in Hollywood films and rap videos."

A plane that closeted homosexuals AND black people like? Chilling.

A sample of an angry email that Pelosi aides allegedly wrote to military officials whine, "[i]t is my understanding there are no G-5s available for the House during the Memorial Day recess. This is totally unacceptable . . . The speaker will want to know where the planes are." And after the Air Force dared to offer up a Boeing 737 in lieu of the high-glitz aircraft, another aide fumed, "[t]his is not good news, and we will have some very disappointed folks, as well as a very upset speaker."

Melanie Morgan, we wait to hear from you for the official word from "the other side" on this pressing issue.

TALK: Controversial House Speaker Nancy Pelosi returns to SF to talk about and sign copies of her latest book Know Your Power: A Message to America’s Daughters. We're pretty sure it's about make-up and diet tips, but you'll have hear her tonight to find out for sure. And with a Whole Food just across the street, it'll be a Democrat's idea of paradise. (Oh, and be on the lookout for a possible Sheehan appearance. Fingers crossed.)

6 p.m. // California Historical Society Museum (678 Mission) // free

THEATER: Mark Jackson directs this highly stylized (i.e., strobe lights will be used) version of Macbeth. (Runs until January 9.)

8 p.m. // Ashby Stage (1901 Ashby Avenue) // pay what you can

Before entering a voguing competition (we can only assume) to the sounds of Seal at Saturday night's Black & White Ball, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi announced her endorsement for Assemblyman Mark Leno. Much to no one's surprise.

Poor incumbent Migden. Won't someone please show her some love?!

Anyway, it looks like Leno, for better or for worse, might be voted "most popular" after tomorrow's votes are finally counted. If you recall, this race has, by all reports, "fueled tension in San Francisco's gay community" because--get this!--both Migden and Leno are queer. Zoinks. But we ask you, homosexual readers, have you gotten into slap fights with other gays over this race? Because, really: not so much.

Or because of those terrible commercials that make Golub come off like an insane person.

Foley, for those who haven't heard, was forced to resign yesterday when news of his flirtatious and extremely sick IM messages to a 16 year-old male page were made public. Yesterday, as the news filtered out and Foley was forced to resign, Congress took up the issue or at least tried to brush it underneath the rug as fast as they possibly could, especially in light of the fact high-ranking Republican officials knew about Foley's problem but did nothing about it. As several explanations were read out loud in congress, most along the lines of "oops, my bad," Nancy Pelosi rose in a lovely canary yellow suit and asked for a motion for the House Ethics Committee to investigate.

Needless to say, it didn't go over very well. Lots of booing and all sorts of other raucous behavior occurred after her proposal was read, as we all know Republicans stand squarely against investigating anyone for their sexual peccadilloes. The always excellent Crooks and Liars has a video of the whole thing and it's pretty fun to watch. We love Nancy's bug-eyed look and mischievous grin as she rises up to announce her measure-- she just knows she's about to stir something up and she's part gleeful about the whole thing and part scared about what she's about to unleash.

Anways, as you could well imagine, Nancy's propopsal went nowhere, but in response, House Majority Leader John "Not Boner" Boehner introduced a measure calling for the House Ethics Committee to investigate whether they should investigate the whole affair.

Since we can't let this whole thing go without bringing up the major ironies in all this, it must be said that Foley is not only one of the leading congressional voices of all sorts of "won't somebody think of the children?" and came out foursquare against Bill Clinton during that whole episode.

Republican sex scandals can be fun!