Moving slower than frozen molasses per usual, a plan BART announced a year ago to possibly reopen some underground restrooms that have been closed over safety concerns since September 11th 2001 is still moving forward. BART issued an announcement Thursday, updating us on the project, which now apparently will only focus on two restrooms in the BART system in high-traffic stations, Powell Street Station, and 19th Street Station in downtown Oakland. BART explains, "The new restrooms would be designed to balance safety and utility, allowing for convenient access while mitigating illegal, dangerous, or inappropriate use."

But this design task is apparently a big one that will be tied up in BART bureaucracy for a while, because they're estimating completion of construction on the new restrooms will be in spring 2018.

Is it really that hard, guys?

Here's the rest:

Designs under consideration favor an open approach, relocating the sinks and hand dryers outside the restrooms and utilizing the existing space for either a stall enclosure or opaque doors with openings on the top and bottom. Also under consideration are vandal-resistant fixtures, lighting and 8 am to 10 pm hours of operation. These features would augment additional system service workers and personnel needed to monitor, clean, and repair the restrooms.

BART has long grappled with quality-of-life issues related to destructive behavior in the system, and is working to address basic needs while preventing the abuse of shared resources such as restrooms, elevators, and escalators. To that end, a partnership between BART and the City of San Francisco to provide a surface-level, attended Pit Stop restroom at 16th Street has already proven to be successful; another Pit Stop has been proposed at Civic Center Station.

More restrooms may follow, but first this pilot project has to get approved and finished, which starts with an approval from the BART board this fall.

Previously: BART May Finally Reopen Public Restrooms Shut Since 9/11

A Chinatown-area robbery team employed a new and disconcerting weapon in their effort to separate people from their stuff: Piss.

According to the San Francisco Police Department, a 27-year-old man was walking near the intersection of Stockton and Sacramento Streets at 3:30 a.m. Sunday when the unpleasant attack occurred.

Two men of "unknown ages," police say, approached the victim, "threw urine in [his] face and hit him with an unknown object."

After what police characterize as "a brief struggle," the pee pitchers made off with the man's cash, wallet, credit cards, and headphones.

The victim, who suffered minor injuries in the attack walked to a nearby hospital for treatment and to report the crime.

The suspects fled, and haven't been seen since. According to the SFPD, no arrests have been made, but anyone with information on the urine assailants should call SFPD's Anonymous Tip Line at 415-575-4444 or to text a tip to TIP411 with SFPD at the beginning of the message.

Testing out a new pee repellent that "pees back" to prevent public urination. pic.twitter.com/6eDJ4w9MWH

— SF Public Works (@sfpublicworks) July 23, 2015

It was a lightning-fast move, given that we're talking San Francisco bureaucracy. Back in March, SF Department of Public Works chief Mohammed Nuru made it known that he was pursuing a new line of defense against those who'd pee on public buildings: a urine-repellent coating that would splash back on those relieving themselves against anything painted with the substance.

Here we are, a little more than four months later, and the splash-backs have commenced.

As previously reported, Nuru and associated saw the below report of how the anti-pee paint was being used in Hamburg, and "thought it looked interesting."

As we noted back in March, DPW asked residents to email them with suggestions on where to test the paint. And as of today, we have "nine urine-repellent walls in the Tenderloin, the Mission and South of Market," including the pee-central known as the 16th Street BART plaza, the Chron reports. Even more anti-pee walls will be painted next month, with locations still to be determined, a DPW spokesperson says.

The initial tests of the anti-pee paint went well, it appears. “The team that did the testing, they were excited because the liquid bounces back more than we thought it would," Nuru said. Now we're in the full pilot phase, in which “We will send people to see, visually, if there are any wet signs to indicate urination has happened,” Nuru tells the Chron.

“We will also use our natural nose to smell and see if urine is there. If it seems to work, we will continue it after the pilot phase ends.”

The coating is called Ultra-Ever Dry, a substance that "uses proprietary omniphobic technology to coat an object and create a surface chemistry and texture with patterns of geometric shapes that have 'peaks' or 'high points,'" according to the product's website. It doesn't just work on walls: as two of the company's product videos demonstrate, it splashed liquids back from paper, fabric, and more:

It's really kind of hypnotic, isn't it? But, before you ask, it is "FOR INDUSTRIAL USE ONLY. NOT AVAILABLE TO CONSUMERS AT THIS TIME," so sorry, you can't prep your home for Bay to Breakers with it (unless you have an in with DPW, I guess).

According to the Chron, "Paint and installation costs a couple hundred dollars for each wall," a cost that presumably includes the signage placed on most of the coated surfaces that reads “Hold it! This wall is not a public restroom. Please respect San Francisco and seek relief in an appropriate place."

That last part, the "an appropriate place" phrase, might give one pause, however, as the same areas that are now home to the pee-deflecting coating are also historically places where public and "appropriate" places to pee are hard to come by. However, according to Nuru, DPW's "Pit Stop" program should take care of that!

It's worth noting that the Tenderloin Pit Stop is only open from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m. Tuesday-Friday, as is the SoMa one. The Pit Stop at 16th and Mission is open from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily, and the 16th and Capp stop is available between 11 a.m. and 6 p.m.

Those feeling the urge outside those time frames might find themselves in more of a bind, but before you take to the alley, better heed Nuru's words and “Watch your shoes over there, brother." You never know when the wall you're pissing on is going to fight back.

Previously: New Pee-Repellent Wall Paint To Soak The Shoes Of Public Urinators

Fancy that: a San Ramon fraternity brother, studying and partying hard at Dartmouth, turned himself in this week after he urinated on a woman. Hanover police report the vile dousing happened on Friday, July 5, at the Alpha Delta fraternity. The 27-year-old victim was part of a film crew at the frat house when the incident took place. She later went to police.

Mercury News reports: "After multiple witness interviews, police issued an arrest warrant Thursday for Christopher Kipouras of San Ramon. Kipouras was booked on a public urination charge. He's scheduled to be arraigned in September."

According to his glowing athletics page, Kipouras is a tennis player at the tony institution of higher learning who "plans to study science or engineering at Dartmouth."

In addition to (allegedly) crude behavior from their brethren, Alpha Delta also faces up to $100,000 fines if convicted of providing alcohol to minors stemming from a separate October 2011 incident. The frat house was also the prototype for National Lampoon's Animal House.

Humans have been pissing on the street since there was a street to piss on, and San Francisco residents have long been accustomed to sidestepping yellow puddles and practicing strategic breathing exercises to escape the pungent scent of public urine. But a new project, dubbed the 'PProject', is betting on a new and improved kind of public urinal.

Last week, a PProject urinal was installed on Ellis Street as part of a short-term pilot to assess whether potential public pissers will use (and not abuse) the service. The urinal is the result of the Tenderloin Public Toilet Project, an initiative by Hyphae Design Lab. The ecological engineering firm designed the urinal to transform pee through a nutrient-rich plant irrigation system by way of a charcoal filter and a product called zeolite, which suppresses ammonia. The urinal will double as a planter for bamboo, which is a lovely idea in theory.

But the real question is, will people use it? It likely depends on ease of use and availability, but unfortunately, there's nothing easier and more available than simply pissing wherever and whenever the mood strikes you. If this project succeeds, it will truly be a urine-soaked blessing from the gods.

[SF Gate]

Previously: 'Pooplets' May Soon Take Over Street Parking Spaces, Providing Toilets for Homeless

More bad behavior unveiled itself at Candlestick Park on Sunday. During the Niners victorious opening game, a (presumably intoxicated) man was pinched by stadium fuzz for trying to pee on other fans. SF Examiner reports: "According to police, security reported the man was 'attempting to urinate on people in the bathroom and trying to incite fights with other fans.' It took several officers to get the man handcuffed and on the ground, but the man kicked one of the security guards in the shin, police said."

How very Power Exchange.

While being escorted out of the area, the suspect spat in an officer's face and tried to break free, which caused the golden shower fan and the cops to fall down a staircase.

This most recent incident comes on the heels of a parking lot assault during a Cal-Fresno game and a violent preseason game.

We here at SFist receive up to a hundred press releases a day. Sometimes we use a few of those press releases to inform you of something we consider noteworthy. And sometimes, though very rarely, a press release is so astounding that it's best to let the missive speak for itself. Behold:

Zazzle, the title sponsor of this year’s 100th Zazzle Bay to Breakers, today announced its Potty Hero campaign, aimed at encouraging participants in this year’s centennial race to make use of the 1,200 port-a-potties stationed along the course, double the amount from last year. Race participants who elect, rightfully so, to utilize the port-a-potties, will earn Potty Hero wristbands from Zazzle crews stationed at each mile along the race route and will have the opportunity to partake in photo opportunities next to large posters featuring speech bubble phrases such as “Mission Accomplished” and “I hit the mark today.” Race participants who collect a Potty Hero wristband will receive special discounts on official Zazzle Bay to Breakers merchandise at the Zazzle Footstock concert at the end of the race.

Funny that. Your SFist editor uses similar reward techniques when babysitting our two-year-old godchild who's in the process of toilet training. Fascinating.

Also, "socia media" aspects will be interwoven throughout Zazzle's (awesome) attempt at getting racers to pee like proper adults. You can use the hashtag #pottyhero on Twitter or, better yet, do a Foursquare potty check-in to receive points at each port-a-potty station. (Have you ever wanted to be mayor of a toilet? Now's your chance!)

The 12K Bay to Breakers race takes place this Sunday, May 15.

The Walnut Creek city council will contemplate a plan to crackdown on drunks and bars in the downtown area. Why? A few harrowing examples, as noted in this ABC 7 report: "recently a drunk woman spit in a police officer's eye," "people sometimes pee in the outdoor planters in..really nice downtown areas," and "sometimes fights break out."

The reserved East Bay even town has a committee studying the causes and effects of the local booze scene. A few possible recommendations are "stricter rules for businesses," "harsher punishments" for drunks, and staggering cutoff and closing times.

[ABC 7]

Don't bother asking why we were reading the Mommy Files over on SFGate, but today's entry "Is it appropriate for little boys to pee in public?" is priceless. Take a look:

"...he [the author's son] couldn't hold his pee for long and so I encouraged him to relieve himself on trees, at the park, in gas station parking lots, in the flower beds gracing the fronts of boutique clothing stores. This was all to prevent him from wetting his pants.

The thing is, my son is now 6-years-old and he's still regularly dropping his drawers and leaving his mark. We'll walk out of a birthday party, and he'll surreptitiously take a leak over the marigolds before climbing into the car."

Wonderful, now that we know parents are to blame for encouraging public urination can we have our booze back at Bay to Breakers? [SFGate]

Well, everyone, this is our last, pre-renovation summer of Dolores Park fun (how fenced off it will be by next summer remains uncertain), but the good folks at Dolores Park Works are claiming at least one small victory: Recreation & Parks has agreed to provide five porta-potties (and a hand-washing station!) throughout the summer to supplement the measly couple of toilets in the center of the park. The activists in this case were pushing four eight, but they say five will do. The ladies, especially, should be pleased. Let's just hope the toilet torcher doesn't feel inspired. [Dolores Park Works via Mission Local]

While known as a problem in the Panhandle or Richmond District, a few of this year's Bay to Breakers participants were notably thoughtless in South of Market, using the 400 block of Tehama Street (between Fifth and Sixth) as a toilet. Urinating in public, of course, is illegal.

Some of these images, while admittedly funny, are downright disgusting -- not to mention NSFW. Ideally, San Francisco will position a few more porta-potties in other parts of the city during the day of next year's race, especially since most of the runners are completely wasted.

Urination situation and a reported near fatality notwithstanding, this year's Bay to Breakers was a success, with a "relatively peaceful" vibe throughout the day.