We do not -- are you listening carefully, Jennifer? -- believe that Gavin has left the most enchanting, pristine, and hopelessly 7x7-ish Siebel. (Believe us, you do not want to fuck with her when it comes to this, for lack of a better word, crap.) But let's throw this out for shits and giggles, shall we?

We receive a lot of whimsical emails here at SFist HQ. Take, for example, this one from an anonymous reader:

"Gavin's New Girlfriend ... do you know who she is yet?"

We're most certain that Newson is spooning her as we type this sentence. But if we had to guess who that new kind of girl was? Beth Spotswood, of course. Any suggestions?

Todd David Burpee, the man who kidnapped and raped a Palo Alto teen last week, just busted out a heavy confession detailing the hour-plus moments he spent with his victim. It seems that this was all because he was upset and "just [wanted] someone to take out his frustration on after a fight with his girlfriend," reports the San Jose Mercury News. They go on to say that "angry after a fight with his girlfriend, Burpee told police he wanted to hurt someone and zeroed in on a girl he saw returning to an apartment complex in his former Palo Alto neighborhood." Burpee then goes into graphic detail about the assault.

His pathetic girlfriend -- whom he had been with at the time of his arrest on Thursday, driving to get fast food, and who also knew about the attack -- attended the court hearing in support of her totally misunderstood rapist boyfriend. (Seeing as how she was complicit in the attack, failing to turn him in to authorities, wouldn't she also be prosecuted?)

Burpee is now in the clink without bail, scheduled return to court December 12.