Noted steroid aficionado, alleged perjurer, and keen deer hunter Barry Bonds scored a win today when a federal judge in San Francisco dismissed five of his 15 counts. Accused of fibbing when he denied feeling the sweet release anabolic steroids or human growth hormone. It seems that "the judge found that two counts duplicated other counts, two were based on ambiguous questions or answers and one other charge contained a typo in which prosecutors left out a key word," so they were dismissed. (Thank God Bonds didn't raep a fan.) The former Giant and holder of the Major League Baseball record for career home runs could still face up to 50 years in prison if convicted.

Former baseball great and Giants slugger Barry Bonds appeared on court today, pleading not guilty to 15 federal charges of fibbing to a grand jury. If you recall, Bonds just did the exact same thing in December, but after a "judge ordered prosecutors to rewrite the slugger's indictment to fix legal infirmities in the document," the brand spanking new indictment "legal infirmities in the document." Whatever that means.

As we all know by now:

Prosecutors say he lied when he told a grand jury investigating the Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative in 2003 that he never knowingly took steroids or other performance-enhancing drugs. Bonds also is scheduled to appear later Friday at a status conference where a trial date might be set.

We're starting to feel for the guy. Sort of.

Today a federal judge told the prosecutors to "re-craft its perjury case against Barry Bonds." The judge on the Bonds case, Susan Illston, claims that they "improperly lumped multiple alleged offenses into each of four counts of its indictment of the former Giants star." Whoops. Illston slammed the Bonds indictment, which was handed up last November, as "duplicitous." According to the Chron:

By law, the government can only accuse a person of one crime per count of an indictment. But the judge said that in Bonds' perjury case, the slugger was being accused of telling as many as five different lies under oath in each count of the indictment.

She said the government could correct the flaws by rewriting the indictment or filing a new one.

To recap: former baseball great, Barry Bonds, in case you've been living under a rock or only watch womens figure skating to get your sports fix, is charged with perjury, obstruction of justice and lying under oath after denying that he used illegal from care of BACLO. The prosecutors have until March 21 to get it together.

Winning the title of first football player to be nabbed in the BALCO scandal, ex-49ers defensive lineman Dana Stubblefield was charged with lying to a federal agent when he denied taking steroids. Oh, Dana. he is expected to plead guilty in a San Francisco federal courtroom later on today.

This comes on the heels of former Olympic athlete Marion Jones receiving a six month sentence for her involvement in the BALCO scandal. And now that jail time is being dolled out, we wonder how much time, if any, Bonds will get in the clink? Just saying.

Jones, Stubblefield, Bonds--all of this begs the question: OMG, what on earth is Mary J. Blige doing using steroids? We simply refuse to believe it, but, like, really, Real Love? You too are possibly using the juice? We are most intrigued.

Stepping out of his black Chevy Tahoe SUV, smashingly dressed, and fully aware that the media would bombard him beforehand, former glory Barry Bonds acted like a punk today after arriving at the U.S District Courthouse to make his plea this morning. Oh, and that plea of fibbing under oath to a federal grand jury regarding his steroids use? Not guilty. Ta-da.

Basically, he came, said that he didn't do it, had a bond set at et bond at $500,000, presumably had a pretty mugshot taken, etcetera, etcetera. Also, according to today's Chronicle article on Bonds' day in court today, something interesting:

Juanita Gutierrez was heading to an appointment near the courthouse with her 3-year-old daughter, Angelica, but stopped to get a glimpse of Bonds. She managed to catch him in the lobby and did one better... "I shook his hand and wished him luck," Gutierrez said. "I don't care (about the charges) - I'm from San Francisco and I love the 49ers and the Giants, and Barry is my number one. He's even cuter in person."

Cuter in person? Stopped to catch a glimpse? Awesome. Let the circus begin.

Read more about it here, here, and here.

Bonds' attorney issued a statement, calling malfeasance on everyone involved, except his client, and now wants to go after the Justice Department for doing all sorts of bad things to his boy. Bond's flunky, Greg Anderson, was also released from prison, and speculation is that either that the Government doesn't need him anymore. (Or that he finally sang like a bird.)

And just to be clear, the indictment says they have proof Barry was on the juice.

Reaction, of course, abounded. The Giants issued a statement saying it was a very sad day. Bud Selig issued a statement saying it was a very sad day. George Mitchell of the Mitchell investigation issued a statement saying it was a very sad day. Even the President, who as owner of the Texas Rangers had a veritable drug bazaar going on with his team, weighed in to say it was a...very sad day. And somewhere out there, Henry Aaron jumped up and down shouted "take that, bitch." On local message boards, the reaction was everywhere, from a shrug variety to apologist to disgust at everyone and everything. Elsewhere, noticeable glee can be discerned.

The main pro-roids (pro-drug?) point was this: seeing as how athletes already push themselves to physical extremes, shouldn't synthetic enhancers also count? Since it also deals with the body? See who's a lightweight, see who's not? That, ultimately, juiced up athletes is the future of sports, so...why not give in?

Any sports fans care to chime in and educate us non-sport followers?

Dude. Duuuuuuude.

After a four-year federal investigation, today cranky baseball icon Barry Bonds was indicted for perjury and obstruction of justice. Ouch. And Jesus. He's like Pete Rose, but worse. Which? Again, ouch.

According to CBS 5, "[w]hile Bonds was chasing Aaron amid the adulation of San Franciscans and the scorn of baseball fans almost everywhere else, due to his notoriously prickly personality and nagging steroid allegations, a grand jury quietly worked behind closed doors to put the finishing touches on the long-rumored indictment." Prickly is sure putting it mildly.

Last night out in the center-left bleachers, each time Barry Bonds came to bat, the crowd rose giddily to their feet. The stands brimmed with grins and shouts of encouragement and nervous energy. Mitts were pulled on and pounded in anticipation. With each pitch thrown to him, photoflashes flared all about the stadium like Chinese New Year firecrackers.

In his first two at-bats Bonds hit a double and a single. The crowd applauded appreciatively after each. It was far better than seeing the oh-fer-three Barry of the night before. The lead flipped back-and-forth between the Giants and the Washington Nationals as the two pitchers had their offerings slopped all around (and out of) the park.

Then: Bottom of the fifth, one out, no one on, everyone on their feet, all eyes on one man.

Three separate sounds essayed from the crowd when it happened.

At the crack of the bat, there was a beat of silence. A collective breath drawn in. Could it be?

ESPN is also reporting Patrick Arnold, the man credited with developing THG is saying the very same thing about Barry.

You know, we've softened a bit in our No Barry in '07 position. He's hitting the ball well and the A's are having such great success with Frank Thomas that we could see Barry helping the Giants along the same ways as Frank is with the A's. But then this came along.

Image of Barry as the Hulk from the Boston Dirt Dogs