Yesterday on Twitter, @SFPDBikeTheft, the noted Twitter account that helps inform SFPD about bike thefts in progress, had a bit of a run-in with local cyclists accusing SFPD of not taking bike thievery seriously. After a "run-of-the-mill breaking and entering" occurred on Thursday inside the residence of Uptown Almanac's Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) — wherein he accuses SFPD of not taking the crime seriously enough — the local blogger/cyclist took to the streets to publish pictures of alleged chop shops operating in public.

"It wasn't until SFPD made my house wait 3 hours to file a report, only for the police to never show up, that I started calling them out on Twitter," Montgomery tells SFist. "Honestly, I was more pissed than anything else. We had $10,000 worth of stuff (mostly bicycles) stolen from our building, yet the cops couldn't care less. I understand the police have to prioritize calls, and yesterday was an hectic day in the neighborhood (from a crime perspective, at least), but...the bike theft problem is only getting worse; and what feels like an excessive crackdown on cyclists committing minor traffic offenses, there's a growing sense that SFPD doesn't really care about cyclists. My experience yesterday all but confirmed that in my view."

In part, here's the Twitter exchange Montgomery had with @SFPDBikeTheft:

.@SFPDBikeTheft Claims to want victims of bike theft to report the crimes, yet SFPD shrugs and tells me it'll take 3 hours to file report.

— Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) January 16, 2014

@kevinmonty if dispatch told you it would take 3 hours for a unit,then sorry for the wait but priority calls come first patience wins out

— SFPD Anti Bike Theft (@SFPDBikeTheft) January 16, 2014

And now, the chop shop hunt begins (we should point out that all of these are unconfirmed):

Meanwhile, blocks away, four thieves are openly chopping up ~50 bikes and caring for 2 stolen dogs pic.twitter.com/1kzgygAlKS

— Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) January 16, 2014

@SFPDBikeTheft I take issue w/ "old bikes." Minimizes issue, & inaccurate. Crappy pic, but bike being chopped is new pic.twitter.com/TqXjoGwtoD

— Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) January 16, 2014

@SFPDBikeTheft Two chop shops at UN Plaza. I can see City Hall from here pic.twitter.com/mSwqhP3WUd

— Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) January 17, 2014

Also of note, @tollef captured this alleged chop shop scene at 13th and South Van Ness Thursday morning:

@kevinmonty @SFPDBikeTheft 13th and Van Ness this am. under the freeway every minute of every day. pic.twitter.com/NW7azs9ouY

— tollef (@tollef) January 17, 2014

@tollef Seriously. It crushes me that thieves chop these bike up in public day after day, yet no shortage of officers ticketing cyclists.

— Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) January 17, 2014

@SFPDBikeTheft @tollef @burritojustice So how do we get the DA to be more aggressive? How do we get repeat offenders off the streets?

— Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) January 17, 2014

According to an @SFPDBikeTheft tweet, the public should pressure the DA in order to prioritize property crime:

@kevinmonty @tollef @burritojustice working with (pressuring) the DA to prosecute property crimes also the re alignment act didn't help

— SFPD Anti Bike Theft (@SFPDBikeTheft) January 17, 2014

And then it all more or less goes downhill from there, with a minor dust-up including @linecook (noted local chef and cyclist) and a slew of other cyclists joining in the heated conversation:

LOL @SFPDBikeTheft DELETED THE EVIDENCE pic.twitter.com/douB39kL5z

— Richie Nakano (@linecook) January 17, 2014

We've asked SFPDBikeTheft for comment. We'll update as soon as we know more. Also, to report an alleged chop shop, please call 415-553-0123.

UPDATE: Officer Matt Friedman (who runs the handy @SFPDBikeTheft account) talked to SFist more about the alleged chop shops, saying, "Do they break up bikes there a nights? Probably. The one at 13th and Van Ness in particular, I've been out to that location several times to make arrests regarding bike theft. It's a homeless encampment — guys out there with criminal records."

Friedman also tells us that in order for SFPD to help return stolen bikes or make arrests, incidents need to be reported. He explains: "As for the bikes, we run serial numbers all the time, but if they don't come up and aren't reported, there's not much we can do. We actively try to follow up on complaints. The best way for a unit to come out is to call the non-emergency number."

However, you can call 911 in cases of bike robberies in progress and more. "If you see someone shaving off a serial number, that's a 911 call. That's a felony. Anything above $1,000 is a felony."

And finally, as to why it took so long for SFPD to help Montgomery, Frieman tells us there could be several reasons. "I don't know why it took so long," he says. "I know it's a high priority for him, but the Mission is a busy district. If you feel like you're not getting the service you requested, you should call back. I know it's frustrating, but it helps. We don't have as many units as we once did."

Let's start off by saying that your editor is a believer in Martha Stewart and her teachings. She's one of the few living philosophers able to infiltrate the common world from a comfortable distance. And her masterpiece, Entertaining, stands as a prideful Mrs. Dalloway-like acceptance of female hysteria in a modern Western world (of particular importance are her notes on what to do with nervous energy before a party), as well as a strong argument proving the existence of God via elaborate crudité.

That being said, we are saddened and surprised to hear that, during an interview with Bloomberg News this week, Stewart attacked the work of lifestyle bloggers.

"Who are these bloggers? They aren’t trained editors at Vogue magazine," Martha chides, going on to say, "Bloggers are writing recipes that aren’t tested, aren’t necessarily very good or are copies of things that really good editors have created and done. Bloggers create a kind of …umm…popularity but they are not the experts. We have to understand that."

We can only assume that, since she doesn't name names, she's referring to such sites as Smitten Kitchen and the like. (In the same interview, though, she does verbally roll her eyes at Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP.)

Kimberly Grabinski, from the impossibly named What's That Smell?, rebuts the noted thinker in a blog post, saying: "We are all experts in lifestyle topics in our own way. This is not rocket science or brain surgery. This is making a cupcake, creating a new quilt design, or knowing just which flowers to mix together. We can all be experts in the topic of ‘lifestyle’."

Stewart, we should point out, isn't alone. Well-intentioned chefs and slippery public relations types often marginalize bloggers and online media in favor of out-of-date and elitist print rags and newspapers. Food and fashion, once championed as harbingers, are now woefully behind yet pridefully ignorant when it comes to media and thus the world around them.

We can only hope that Stewart, who gave the keynote at the 2012 BlogHer event, comes to her senses and gets her head out of the past. She later apologized (sort of) to "great friends and trusted allies."

[Babble]
[Bloomberg]

Today concludes Burger Week at Eater. For those following, it's been a festive and meaty ride. As a finale, Eater editor Allie Pape asked some local food bloggers to share their favorite local burgers and fries.

Your SFist editor, lacking imagination, selected Marlowe/Park Tavern and In-N-Out animal-style fries. We've talked about both dishes before. But trendy or not, the shit is good. Other local writers with better burger bon mots include: Jonathan Kauffman ("Instead of fries, which aren't that hard to do well, can I nominate the hush puppies at the Wexler's Back truck?"), Paolo Lucchesi ("I'm of the mindset that burgers are best enjoyed in backyards or dark bars"), Jennifer Maerz ("As a vegetarian who doesn't eat fried food, I am of no help to you."), Broke-Ass Stuart ("...Shut the Fuck Up"), and more.

Read their favorites and more over at Eater. You're welcome.

We couldn't help but read this piece in the NYT Magazine over the weekend in which writer Maud Newton points the finger at the late David Foster Wallace (Infinite Jest) and Dave Eggers for creating the loose conversational tone that came to be embraced, perhaps to a fault, by a generation of bloggers. We know that, um, at least a few commenters like to carp when we get too liberal with our pepperings of the word "um" in our writings, so if only for them, we salute Newton's observations and will try to be, like, less obnoxious in our blogger-y prose.

To wit:

In the Internet era, Wallace’s moves have been adopted and further slackerized by a legion of opinion-mongers who not only lack his quick mind but seem not to have mastered the idea that to make an argument, you must, amid all the tap-dancing and hedging, actually lodge an argument...

I suppose it made sense, when blogging was new, that there was some confusion about voice. Was a blog more like writing or more like speech? Soon it became a contrived and shambling hybrid of the two. The “sort ofs” and “reallys” and “ums” and “you knows” that we use in conversation were codified as the central connectors in the blogger lexicon.

Newton's conclusion is that all this "umming" and casualness is just an effort by us writers to make you like us, and to not sound too certain in our arguments so as to leave room for disagreement. She concludes, "Qualifications are necessary sometimes... But the idea is to provoke and persuade, not to soothe. And the best way to make an argument is to make it, straightforwardly, honestly, passionately, without regard to whether people will like you afterward." Amen.

Time to start retroactively kissing writer/blogger Stuart Schuffman's ass, Bay Area media folks. Because Schuffman (AKA Broke-Ass Stuart) just landed his own travel TV show. It'll be called Young, Broke, and Beautiful and will Air on IFC this summer.

According to Hollywood Reporter, the half-hour travel show "targets alternative culture enthusiasts" and is set to air in June.

Schuffman, a UC Santa Cruz gradate, started Broke-Ass Stuart, a site devoted to living on the cheap, here in San Francisco. He has since expanded it to New York City.

Congratulation, Broke-Ass.

The current wave of cocktail nerd-dom has reached such great heights that there's a whole cottage industry of cocktail bloggers out there and a whole annual conference (Tales of the Cocktail in New Orleans each July) devoted to the mixologists' blogosphere. If you're a beer-and-shot kind of person, you'll probably want to stop reading and click away now. But for those of you who want to geek out on things like flavored bitters, vintage gin drinks, and making your own falernum, here's a roundup of cocktail blogs to beef up your booze knowledge and satisfy your cocktail curiosities.

Alcademics
Alcademics is the soapbox for freelance writer and cocktail enthusiast Camper English, and it covers ground from San Francisco bar openings, to articles about the healthfulness of drinking, to recipes for carrot cocktails.

Barmano
This growing web concern is meant to be a one-stop source for drink recipes, city bar guides and bar jobs -- though the latter hasn't quite filled in yet. It's a new site, begun in part by local startender Duggan McDonnell, and we think it will go far.

Cocktail Hacker
Started by a couple of Colorado dudes, this one-year-old site is brimming with good stuff. Cocktails + Hackers == Cocktail Hacker

Juliette Tang, writing for the SFBG's sex blog asks the all-important question this week, "Hand Jobs: Are We Having Them?" Now, while we at SFist fully support the concept of a sex blog for San Francisco, and believe that in our fair, slutty, liberally minded city there certainly should be plenty to write about, we have to note that this headline makes us wonder if this was just a truly slow sex news week over there! To wit:

...It seems, in many peoples' sex lives, that the hand job is to a CD Walkman what the blow job is to an iPod. It was great when you were in junior high, but then something new came around and you sort of forgot about it. I occasionally see used latex gloves discarded on the sidewalk, and we regularly hear about San Francisco law enforcement cracking down on local massage parlors (so obviously someone out there is paying for it) but -- like secret societies, group sex, and crack -- hand jobs are something you know is out there, though you're hard pressed to know anyone who regularly participates.

Anyway, it appears the piece was just an extended musing after Juliette had to post about a hand job seminar at Good Vibrations and asked three of her friends if they still got hand jobs. After the jump, an audio podcast she embedded by a British dude about giving a proper HJ.

Fearing for his job in these tough economic times, Chronicle scribe C.W. Nevius tells CBS 5' Joe Vasquez that bloggers, it seems, are stupidheads. Ahem:

Bloggers do a nice job and that’s fine. But what I see bloggers doing is taking the raw material they get from news organizations like this and riffing off of it. If the bloggers didn’t have us to do the start of the work for them, I don’t know what they’d blog on. So, I’d be interested to see how that happens. They’re talking pretty big now, we’ll see where they go.

Failing to grasp the concept of blogs aside, Nevius does have a point -- an idiotic one, but a point.

Buck was in Egypt doing a project on Egyptian bloggers who tend to be, according to The Mercury News "mostly leftist, anti-government bloggers." When photographing a demonstration, Buck and his translator, Mohammed Salah Ahmed Maree were both arrested. Buck sent the message "ARRESTED" from his cell phone to his Twitter network and had messages from his friends in Egypt and America working to find Buck and work on his release.

Buck was released last week, although Maree remains imprisoned. A petition for his release is circling the web. Buck plans on having a protest outside the Egyptian consulate at 10 a.m. on Friday.

Finally, a useful reason to have a Twitter. We finally succumbed to Twitter recently and haven't used it for anything more than letting everyone know when we're watching "Family Guy." Gah.

-- Van Halen jumps. [SFGate]

-- Tommi Avicolli-Mecca to be visited by three ghosts Xmas Eve. [Beyond Chron]

-- Gavin Newsom wants to be President of the U.S.A. you to get healthier. [Matier and Ross]

-- SWL 337 Planning Challenge winners announced. (Go Jackson!) [Curbed]

-- Susan Leal hit by a car. Chin up, girl. [CBS5]

-- San Francisco's 100th homicide. [The Snitch]

-- Bloggers, copyrights, photos, and lots of hair pulling. [Laughing Squid]