Gay dads. They're the worst. First, they rub in our face that they're got their collective shit together via strolling freshly born wee ones around the Castro, giving gay brethern the stink-eye all because they no longer have pupils the size of dinner plates come Saturday morning. And now, according to a recent San Francisco State University study, said dads have more or less taken themselves off the sexual-intercourse market because they've got to go home and burp little Sapphire. The SFSU study, published recently by the Journal of Couple and Family Psychology, documented the effects of entering into the woes of parenthood for 48 gay male couples in the Bay Area, "detailing the relationship issues that arose as a result of becoming parents." The results might shock you.

"A lot of them reported that with children at home they're exhausted so the frequency of sex decreases, which could mean less risk for HIV," SFSU sexuality studies professor Colleen Hoff explained to the BAR. "Roughly half the couples were in open relationships and reported there's less time and desire to act on that. All together, one might think that having children moves people toward a less risky lifestyle."

It gets worse. The BAR goes on to chillingly point out: "The reported decrease in sexual frequency was generally accepted by the couples as a direct result of prioritizing their children over themselves as they transitioned into a more mature stage of life." (Whatever happened to the boomer parents of yore who used to prioritize themselves over their children? Crazy world we live in today.) Further, couples also seemed to spend "less time with gay friends and more time with heterosexual parents, even moving to more suburban areas."

On the plus side, gay dads tend to look really hot. So very responsible, so very good-credit-score. So, you know, they've got that going for them too.


Previously: New Study Blames Spread of HIV/AIDS On Women, Sort Of