A few weekends ago when San Franciscans were enjoying unseasonable Dolores Park weather, my husband and I threw an impromptu deck party for our friends with kids. At one point in the day, my 3-year-old dropped a piece of cake onto the deck and exclaimed, "Oh shit." I turned red as I looked at the other parents’ faces to judge their reactions. My friend Jason chuckled and said, "At least he used it in the appropriate context." This made me realize that I have a confession to make: I don't mind when my kids curse.

Jason made a great point, and I've been thinking about it ever since. What's so bad about curse words? If they are used to cause emotional harm to another person, I understand the problem. But used simply as a way of expressing one's own disappointment or pain? What's the big deal?

Some parents censor themselves in an effort to nix their children's exposure to naughty words. Some parents even use a swear jar in which they add a predetermined amount of money when a parent or a child fucks up messes up and uses bad language. When the jar is full, they use the money for something charitable or to buy something the whole family needs. Whatever. In my family, I think this technique would backfire, as the douchebag jar on did.

But what do alleged experts say about kids' potty mouths? Jim O'Conner, author of Cuss Control claims, “I think the real problem with kids swearing, if they are hearing it from their parents in particular, it's that they are not just picking up the word, they are picking up the tone and that attitude." True that. But really, despite what I've read in some of SFist’s comment threads, are people still using curse words as weapons? It seems so archaic to me.

Online parenting resources such as Ask Dr. Sears Babycenter refer to cursing as a habit, a problem, a dilemma. My son's preschool has a very strict policy about cursing: You don't do it. This policy as well as playground politics and other public parenting arenas make cursing taboo, so I must abide. But how do I do so without compromising my own parenting priorities? There are serious problems like hitting, biting, and bullying that parents should be more concerned about than cursing.

Follow me on Twitter @dhanousek

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