Behold Dimitri the Stud/Stalker

Sent to some bodyshot-partying Marina chick, Dimitri's desperate voicemails had us at "Greek," and "maybe you were abused in childhood." Swoon. (Update: here's an article about said stalker Dimitri, via our swell sister site Torontoist.)

Thank you, Mr. West, for sending this our way.

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Brock, when you said this video was sent to a "Marina Chick" did you mean that literally or more generally? "Dimitri" seems to have a very thick Canadian accent and mentions a 416 area code which I believe is Toronto. This is undoubtedly hilarious, but is it, in fact, of local interest?

word on the internets is that, yes, it is, in fact, SF-related. will advise if i hear otherwise. please standby.

Oh my gosh. That was spooky--he's so normal but so completely bonkers that his normalcy and lunacy just meld and now I feel a bit crazier for having listened to him for the whole four-plus minutes.

turtledude: Here's what it says in the youtube description:

Okay guys here is the info on this voicemail. One of my friend's from work and her friend were out one night in the SF Marina district and were hanging outside of the bars trying to find a cab. One of the girl's, Olga ends up meeting this guy Dmitri and they talk for at the most 2 minutes. She hands him her business card and says call me.

Well attached is the actual voicemail that this guy left her. Wait till you hear it you will be laughing so hard you'll fall out of your chair.

SFIST -- this is your last chance -- if you don't respond to this comment by 1:35PM PDT, I sware it is SO OVER. I am very elegant in my writing, my comments are pithy and I am great online.

SFIST -- There is nothing wrong with me, I am erasing your from my favorites, you will not be hearing back from me. I do not want to play your childhood games. Whay won't you respond to my post? It isn't my problem it is your problem. I am pithy, funny and fun, you will really really miss me.

So, did she call Dmitri?

It's Sal Castaneda disguising his voice.

He's definitely from Toronto - he used to be best known for flyering downtown looking for women to have sex with him. Then it turned out he's got a bit of a dodgy past, and it wasn't so funny any more. See http://www.eyeweekly.com/city/features/article/22843

I actually met him once. He showed up a a NYE party of a friend of mine, with some bizarre 50-something tanorexic in a bellytop in tow, and proceeded to hit on anything and everything that looked even vaguely female. Nice to see he's left TO for SF.

that was just about the funniest thing I've ever heard...and if you call the number...it really is Dimitri. Awesome

Here's how it's gonna work.

You laugh, but I hear that chix dig this kind of shit.

I get it -- he is Borat for dating. Clever!

Learn more about Dimitri here:

torontosun.com/dimitri

visit my OFFICIAL site at www.dimitrithestud.com - T-SHIRTS FOR SALE!!!

"Dimitri The Stud" is none other than Canada's "Dimitri The Lover". Here is the latest announcement from his anti-metrosexual organization, the "Toronto Real Men": http://dimitrithelover.com/TRMannouncement.html

I found this massive blurb posted on another site:

Word is just hitting the street that these “douchey voicemails” are just a VIRAL MARKETING hoax for a Hollywood documentary about “Dimitri The Lover” by some of the Borat/Bruno people. You can tell the voicemails are viral marketing for a film because they drag on forever, he mentions the movie, he sounds like he's reading off a script, and you can hear him trying not to laugh at a couple of parts when he gets totally ridiculous. However, I knew all along and have been trying to tell people. Let me explain. Read this link (including all the comments below the article) …

http://www.progressiveadvertiser.com/dimitri-the-stud-year-long-viral-sensation-is-a-hoax/

I'm a member of the "Toronto Real Men", the world's only anti-metrosexual organization, run by "Dimitri The Lover", aka "The Prophet". In the same way that John Connor fights the machines for survival of humanity in “The Terminator”, The Prophet has dedicated his life to fight "Metrosexuality" for the survival of masculinity. He is a modern-day Rasputin ... a real-life Tyler Durden. Here is the web site for the "Toronto Real Men": http://torontorealmen.com ... if you go to the section in the menu on the left titled "Meeting Announcements", then click on "August", you will understand everything he is trying to do. Also, if you click on the link on the left titled "Media Centre", there's both a radio interview and an appearance in a documentary so you can hear The Prophet speak.

Also, here is a copy of your latest meeting announcement, where he will teach men how to LEGALLY RAPE women with their minds:

http://www.dimitrithelover.com/toronto_real_men_october_2009.html

Also, everyone knows that women in Toronto are stuck up and play games. Here is how The Prophet deals with a single woman that likes him but still refuses to cough up her number ... he hands her this flyer:

http://pics.livejournal.com/suspiciouslump/pic/00001pse

Here is a link to some animations that have been banned by YouTube but give you a great indication of The Prophet's philosophy: http://dimitrithelover.com/animation.html ... the "Crucifixion of Dimitri" represents how he has suffered for all men.

Here is The Prophet's main web site: http://dimitrithelover.com

We heard at the last meeting that his Hollywood film (the one that the producers of Borat and Bruno created) is completed and should be released in the next few months. Then the world will know the truth about what The Prophet is doing to rid the world of feminism once and for all.

Finally, here are some Dimitri The Lover clips from YouTube:

Intro I: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWmfVIC4g3s

Intro II: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZ0p1ekwQes

Metrosexuals I: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi5cctfqXrU

Metrosexuals II: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JJXIUM0lZw

Feminism: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2V8mtQPF5Q

His Dream Woman: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfkIE_UjIDg

WORSHIP THE COCK !!!

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